Free Bittersweet Symphony by J.L. Beck Page B

it is like to actually have a friend. She and Jenna, have welcomed me with open arms. I’m not used to having friends who are willing to protect me, so it is hard getting used to someone being here for me. Now I couldn’t see a day without them.
    I text her back, letting her know I don’t do beaches, but that I will go for her. I sigh, taking note of the fact that there was a ton of noise taking place out in the hall. College dorms suck, whoever had the idea to squish hundreds of nineteen year olds into a small area had a death wish. Thank the ever loving Lord I lived alone.
    I slip out of bed and into a pair of sleep pants. Just as I am about to slip on my fuzzy slippers and venture out into the hall, someone knocks on my door. I am frozen in place as I try to figure out who it can be.
    Standing on my tip toes to peer through the hole in the door, I spot Ryder’s green eyes staring back at me. I pull the door open with an intensity that surpasses my own strength. It’s as if I’m beyond happy to see him and just want him to come inside.
    “Hi,” I say nervously. Ever since our encounter last week, I’ve been even more nervous around him. There’s so much about one another that we don’t know. Sometimes he’s so intense he scares me, and then there are times he’s so sweet I melt right in his hands.
    He looks at me as if I’m his whole world, as if me simply breathing and smiling makes him happy. The little things in life matter the most.
    “What are you doing today?” he asks, his gaze sweeping across my room. He’s never been in my room which makes me even more nervous. We’ve been alone numerous times, but that’s beside the point… It’s different once you become a couple. It’s as if everything changes, as if the looks get hotter and the kisses wetter.
    “Just… Nothing. Homework, classes… you know, the usual. Oh, and Mimi invited me to the beach.” I am nervous, but there’s no reason for it.
    He smiles, a dimple showing profusely. I want to reach up and poke at it with my finger, but I don’t think that would be acceptable.
    “Do you have to go to classes?” he questions. His voice is syrupy, causing my insides to melt. I am liquid every time he put the moves on.
    “I….” Did I really have too? Yeah… Did I want to? No! I want to go to class even less now that I have a man like Ryder standing in front of me.
    “You what?” His scent surrounds me, circuiting something in my brain. What was I saying? I feel and smell his breath on my face as he looks down at me. There is no space between us, and I needed to put some there.
    “I… I have class today,” I barely reply. I am confused as to how a man like Ryder can think he is incapable of love. His voice alone has women begging.
    “But…” His finger trails over my cheek and up to my nose until its just resting on my face.  I bite the inside of my cheek, trying to stifle the sigh that desperately wants to escape me. “You could come and spend the whole day with me? We could go to the beach… and other places.”
    He is trying to be persuasive. His eyes dilate as I reach up to remove his finger from my nose.
    “Don’t you have classes, too?” I question, not really sure why it concerned me. However, now that I think about it more, he never seems to go to classes. I’m not even sure if he’s actually enrolled.
    A cross between dread and anger spread across his face. I’m not sure why he would get mad about my question, but I’m not about to shut up. I am going to find out.
    He backs up, taking a few steps away from me. His hands shift into the front pockets of his jeans. I see the walls being pushed back up. He is hiding something; he doesn’t want to share it, and the easiest way for him to move on from it is to go cold, to incase himself in a sheet of ice impenetrable by anyone. I know because I do that every thing every time Sam is around.
    “We can talk about it…” I say softly, keeping my voice void of my own