Free The Shameless Hour by Sarina Bowen

created. “Never mind. I’ll say it for you. I like dick. I’m a butt pirate. In the navy, they called me the Rear Admiral.”
    At that, I’d thrown back my head and laughed.
    “You think I’m kidding?”
    “Not at all. I just never heard that nickname before.”
    “You got a problem with it?”
    “ Dios. ” I shook my head. “I’m from New York City. We don’t have a problem with much. Except rats and tourists.”
    Mat’s eyes crinkled for a second, the first sliver of actual humor he’d shown.
    But Bickley had been stony. “If you wanted to keep the single without a fuss, that would be a pretty good way to play us.”
    Mat’s jaw hardened. “I don’t have to play you, asshole. The single is mine already. I figure they gave it to me because I’m three years older than y’all. Nice try, though.” He picked up his duffel and disappeared into the single.
    “Do you believe that guy?” Bickley had muttered.
    And so it began. He and Mat had been at each other’s throats ever since. I tried to stay out of it, but the jousting never stopped.
    “You can tell Bickley it’s safe to come home now,” Mat said eventually. “He won’t walk in on any queer action.”
    “You flatter yourself,” I replied from the couch cushions. “When I came home last night, you were both here. And both getting action.”
    From the window seat Mat gave a bitter laugh. “Seriously? I didn’t hear him.”
    “I heard the both of you.”
    Mat snorted. “Bickley was out on the prowl last night, too? That’s something I don’t need to see. ‘Hey baby, come for a ride in my Mercedes.’”
    “For once would you just shut it?” I snapped. “And open the fucking window.”
    I rarely told Mat where to get off, so apparently it made an impression. The next sound I heard was the creak of the window opening. “What crawled up your ass and died?” he asked.
    I sighed into the leather of the sofa. “I got dumped last night.”
    Mat actually laughed .
    Pissed now, my head shot up off the couch, which unfortunately made the room spin. Ouch. “That’s funny to you?”
    His lip curled. “It is, actually. Because I got dumped last night, too.”
    I gave my head a shake. “No lie?”
    He shook his head slowly. “I only wish I was lying.”
    That explained the bags under his eyes and the early morning cigarette. “Sorry.”
    “Yeah. So am I.”
    Who knew I’d have something in common with my orneriest roommate? “I don’t know about you, but I didn’t see it coming.”
    Mat flicked the ash from his cigarette out the window. “Can’t say that I did, either.”
    “I thought we were doing pretty good. But she cheated on me with some rich guy she met in Ecuador.”
    “Yeah? Well he cheated on me with a woman .” He pronounced the word the way some people would say “cockroach.”
    I pushed my face into Bickley’s designer throw pillow. It was a relief to think about someone else’s problems for a minute. “I’ll bet it won’t last, though,” I said, my words muffled by cashmere and down feathers.
    “Why do you say that?”
    “I dunno. Being a gay dude in the military sounds like a whole lot of trouble, no? Why do that if you’re not sure?” I was talking out of my ass. “But what the hell do I know?”
    Mat heaved a sigh. “Good point. Twenty-four hours ago, I would have agreed with you. But he said he wants kids and all that shit. The picket fence. The dog.”
    Dios . “I want that stuff, too. And so does Alison. It’s just that she wants it with some dick who wears a Rolex.”
    Mat gave me another grunt. I’m pretty sure it was supposed to sound empathetic.
    “At least I didn’t spend two hundred bucks on dinner,” I added. “The night blew up about two minutes after I walked out of here.”
    Mat said nothing. With him, that counted as a reply.
    “Are you pissed at Devon?” I asked.
    “I wish I was angry,” Mat admitted. “I’m only depressed.”
    “Yeah? Well I’m both depressed and