Ever.” His words were potent and I couldn’t believe that I was reacting to them this way. The thought of giving myself over to him completely was like an aphrodisiac to my senses.
“So you see, we can’t rush because if I take you before you’re fully trained and something goes wrong, you can get very badly hurt and I don’t want that.”
“What can go wrong? I don’t follow.” I never knew sex could be dangerous, what was he planning to do to me anyway?
“Your place in my life, in my bed, will require complete submission to me. That means you never question my orders, you never disobey me in anyway in or out of my bed. You still need time to learn that and it’s up to me to teach you.”
That gave me food for thought. What was he talking about? I knew he was a little…different, knew that even with Connor’s over protectiveness, Logan’s take charge attitude and Zak and Tyler’s brand of crazy when it came to the girls, that there was something just a little extra about my Cord. I just chalked it up to him being in Special Forces or whatever. The commander had been a bit masterful himself. But this, this was a whole new territory for me.
He’s right, I am innocent but what he was describing would take more than experience, it would take someone with a very strong constitution. Giving myself over to him completely sexually was one thing, what he’d just described sounded almost like a life sentence. Only I wasn’t sure if it was a death sentence or the door to paradise.
“What if I can’t do it? What if I never learn to give in all the way, then what?” Just saying the words out loud made my tummy feel hollow.
“It’s too late for that baby, you have no choice.” Well then!
***
After that night things had escalated between us. He trained my body to react to the simplest things, a look, or a touch in the right place. A part of me tried to hold back, not because I didn’t like where it was going, but there was an element of fear and rebellion involved.
He has this way of taking me under with such ease that most of the time it was like coming out of a dream, like losing time. But while I was under, I felt total bliss.
If you’d told me a year ago that I would enjoy being tied to a bed, having candle wax melted on my bare stomach, or having a man tell me when, where, and how but no why, I would’ve spit in your eye and called you a liar. Now I enjoy all those things and more. And when we’re not in his little pleasure chamber where he makes my body sing and my heart yearn, I crave him and his touch.
I’ve grown so attuned to him, that all it takes is his walking into a room. Or on those days when he and his brothers go to their worksite, I miss him horribly while he’s gone. And just when I know it’s time for him to be pulling into the gate at the end of the day, I get butterflies and my heart rate speeds up. My body already recognizes him as its owner.
I love the way he reacts when we’ve been apart for those few hours out of the day. I try to make sure I’m alone in his house at those times so I can enjoy one of his special ‘hello’ kisses. It’s almost worth missing him to be on the receiving end of one of those.
The way he looks at me holds me, as if he’d been gone for years instead of a few hours. I hope that never ends. I hope for the rest of my life he looks at me as if I’m his everything. There’s nothing headier than that.
He’s right, there’s no turning back. I know that no one else would ever, could ever make me feel the things he does. Plus the fact Cord would kill them if they tried. He’s possessive that way. And when he’d whispered just that in my ear while his fingers teased between my thighs, I believed him.
I tuned back into the Charlie’s Angels wannabes behind me as they grilled Kat on what she knew which didn’t sound like much. And now they were setting up a sting. They’re so funny, like these guys will ever let us get close enough to do