Free Allure by Michelle Betham

I do, she was just trying to fight it. I was trying to fight it. But that’s becoming harder and harder to do now.
    ‘Kira, I…’
    ‘I’m not just an escort, Neal. That doesn’t define who I am.’
    I don’t really know who she is. But then, she has no idea who I am, either. We’re just two lost souls looking for something. We found each other. And for that, I thank whatever god is up there watching over us. But I’m guessing it’s been a long time since she gave her beautiful body away for free, and I don’t mean that in a bad way. I just mean that, I think it’s been a while since she let anyone get close enough, emotionally. A long time since she let anyone in.
    ‘It’s just a few days, Kira, but…’
    ‘I won’t stop working, Neal. I need to get that straight. I want to be with you, I want to have sex with you, and I’m taking no more money for that. I want us to spend time together, but you will be leaving. At some point you’re going to get up and walk away from me so I need to keep my life going, do you understand? I’m putting my calendar back online and I’ll be seeing clients. But you – you’re not a client anymore, OK?’
    I understand. I’m just not sure I like the idea of other men doing to her what I’ve done to her over these past couple of nights. But she’s right. In a few days I’ll have to leave, I have things to do; clients to see. I’m never in one place for all that long. So, I guess if she wants to think ahead, that’s just her way of coping with the inevitable. ‘But we don’t have to talk about it, do we?’ Yeah. I guess I can live with pretending it’s not happening; that she isn’t sleeping with other men.
    She smiles, and I feel my heart jump. ‘No. We don’t have to talk about it.’
    I want her so much it’s terrifying. But I can’t have her. Not the way I really want her. So I’ll just have to make do with the next few days.
    ‘Make love to me, Neal.’ She whispers in my ear, and I feel my stomach contract ten times over as I stand up, her legs wrapping around me as I carry her back into the bedroom.
    We fall onto the bed, a mass of tangled limbs and hot, heavy kisses, but then the pace suddenly slows. We’ve done the manic, frantic sex. She wants something different now. Something I suspect she hasn’t had in a while, and once again I’m assuming here, but I feel like there’s a part of her that’s been closed to real emotion for a long time. Just like me.
    I take her hands and watch as her fingers curl around mine. Such a simple action, but for some reason, this morning, it carries so much more of something I won’t even pretend to understand. And then her eyes meet mine, and the message is so clear it sends a shockwave ripping right through me.
    I reach down to unzip my jeans, and my cock reacts instantly to the tiny sigh of pleasure she gives as my hand catches her inner thigh. So I do it again, letting my fingers gently brush her skin, our eyes locking as I slowly push into her. And it feels different this time. It feels – different. She feels different, and that might sound odd, but it’s what I feel as I thrust deeper into her, her hips bucking up to meet mine as we build to a slow, steady rhythm. I don’t take my eyes off her, I can’t. I want to look at her as I do this, as I take her in a different way; I want to watch her face as she comes. I want to be inside her when her climax hits and we make this real.
    For the first time in a long time I’m making love to a woman.
    But she’s a woman I can’t have.
    And the pain I’m gonna feel when this is over is gonna hurt so bad. So fucking bad…

Eight
     
    Kira
     
    ‘The calendar’s back up, I see.’ Joey flounces into the kitchen and throws me a look that says he still isn’t happy with me. But he knows better than to argue too much. He made his point. I know how he feels about what I’m doing. But he can’t change my mind, and he knows that. Because he also knows I’m a