Free Stepbrother With Benefits 17 (Third Season) by Mia Clark Page B

who the fuck knows? I need to get up and...
    What? I have no idea. This is the first time in my life where literally every possible thought I could have as to what the fuck to do has just kind of vanished.
    That's not exactly true. I want to call Ashley. I want to explain everything to her. I want to tell her it was a mistake. She didn't see what she thought she saw, though I can completely fucking understand that what she thought she saw was real fucking terrible.
    I just... fuck. Holy fuck. What if she does something drastic? A revenge fuck or something? I've seen that kind of thing in porn sometimes, and I get that real life isn't porn, but I've seen girls try to get me to have revenge sex with them to get back at their boyfriends, so it's not like this never happens.
    I mean, yeah, I never do it, because it seems shady as fuck. It's like, alright, calm down there, girl. We can have sex once you're not angry as fuck. Angry sex isn't the worst sex ever, and sometimes it can be pretty fucking fun, but I want us to sort of be angry at each other so we just rip our clothes off, not me being angry at nothing, you being angry at your boyfriend, and then you're going to cry after and I'll feel like a dick.
    Sort of like that, except I'm the boyfriend right now. Ashley's the one who is angry at me. I don't know what the fuck to do. I hope she's not angry enough to randomly try and sleep with a guy to get back at me, but, uh... do you realize what she saw?
    It's not even what she saw, but it's the history behind it. It's the fact that I've kind of been an asshole to a lot of girls before. And now it looks like I'm being an asshole again? Falling back into my old ways? Proving that a long distance relationship is impossible?
    Yeah...
    I get off my bed, moving with a deceptive calmness that really doesn't exist inside me right now. If I don't go slow, I'm not sure I'm going to be able to move at all, though. So let's just go slow, alright?
    I find the clothes I was going to put on when I got back from the shower. I dress while checking my computer to see if Ashley's online again. She's not, so that's not going to help me much. After I get my socks and shoes on, I check to see if my phone is charged at all.
    I can turn it on, but barely. I can't unplug it from the wall, and I'm not sure I can make a call without the thing dying on me again. As awful as it makes me feel, I just leave it there for now. What's another five or ten minutes?
    Well, I don't know about you, but a quickie doesn't take much longer than that. I mean, what, some unzipped pants, pulled aside underwear, have at it, and...
    I just don't think Ashley would do that, though. Not yet. I don't know if she would ever do it. I feel like she wouldn't, but I also don't want to be that guy who thinks his relationship is perfect and nothing bad will ever happen, so he doesn't have to try anymore.
    You have to try. That's the one thing I really know about relationships. Fuck all of that other shit I talked about with Caleb yesterday. It's not about orgasms or love letters. Those are some of the partial answers to the question, but the main answer is that you just have to fucking try.
    That's it. No one's asking for a lot here. You don't have to sell your kidney on the black market or travel to fucking Mars or whatever the fuck. I mean, yeah, if you bring a girl to Mars on a date, you're a huge fucking badass on my book, but...
    It's not about Mars, it's about trying. It's about showing her you care. Also, don't bring her to Mars if she doesn't even want to go to Mars. I think that's kidnapping or something. Kidnapping isn't romantic. Unless you're into that, I guess. I've seen some books. Dark romance or whatever the fuck.
    I wonder if Ashley thinks kidnapping is romantic? I will kidnap the fuck out of you, Princess. There'll be bondage and everything. It'll be sexy, though. Kinky as fuck or something.
    Except before I do that I have to fix all this. Everything. The entire