Free The v Girl by Mya Robarts

many ways that he wouldn’t hurt you!”
    My voice rises to yelling levels when she rolls her eyes. “And you’ll want to know what sex is like when it is not forced on you. So you’ll make plans to lose your V, too. Even if there’s nothing else but friendship! Even if you would prefer to wait ‘til you have met a special person, but that’s something that will never happen to you.”
    “Friends with benefits? No, thank you.”
    “Never say never, Azalea, and let’s talk about it when you’re the one eligible for recruitment.”
    Azzy ignores me as she shakes off pill dust from her dress. “It’s too much trouble just to erase it from my to-do list.”
    “You’re eleven. You don’t have a to-do list. I don’t want them to rape me … while I’m still a V-girl. It can’t be Rey because—” I feel a lump in my throat while looking at the floor. “—I can’t use him.”
    I look up, and her condescending look makes me shout. “I’ll find a way before the troops take me! Don’t you dare to judge me!”
    I storm toward the double doors. I wrench them open, stumbling into someone. Someone who might have listened to my outburst. Embarrassed, I look at my feet.
    “Excuse me,” I mutter before looking up. But even without looking at his face I know the colossal body could only belong to a particular cop.
    At this moment, I want the ground to open up and swallow me. Because Aleksey is looking at me with cold steel eyes. A wicked, humorless half smile crosses his face. He obviously listened to my diatribe.
    “Dr. Velez?” he asks coolly.
    I’m speechless. We saw him going to town, why did he come back? I mutely point the aisle where I heard Dad’s voice. With no other words, I walk past him.
    “So if you won’t use your friend, I have a friend who loves being used. By virgins, ” he says.
    I want to make a dignified exit and not show him that his words hit me like a punch. I keep walking with my head held up. But my feet don’t respond and I stumble ungracefully. He responds with a weird breathing sound. Has this quiet, broody man repressed a laugh?
    I can’t take it anymore. I sprint to my room and slam the door shut.
    I’ll make him regret he used the V-word to make fun of me. One day.

Fly your flight my dear dove
    Sing your song, make it reach the ocean
    I want my freedom
    I want to live in peace
    I want to sing your song
    To have your wings
    To be able to fly
    I want my destiny to leave the path that it is taking now.
    The Dove – Eduardo Carrasco

Chapter 8
    As days go by, I fight to mend my self-esteem. I can’t get over my first failed attempt at seduction. First failure, and not likely to be the last. There have to be other options to lose my V, but masturbation isn’t one. I want a shared experience. To feel that someone cares for me during my most vulnerable moment. It’d be difficult to find something like that even under normal circumstances. I stand no chance while there’s war. While there’s hunger.
    The air raid left Starville short of communications, which means more shortages in food. More people are enlisting for recruitment. Others scan the ruins for remnants of wallpaper. They say the starch glue is edible. And I’ve noticed the number of rats, stray cats, and dogs has drastically diminished.
    The Accord cops distribute food among Starvillers, but it’s never enough. Patriots say Starvillers should pay the occupation costs so most of the Starville production, including food, goes to the war efforts.
    We can’t use the provisions TCR saved and without my job we depend on the ration coupons the government gives us. To my humiliation, the rest of my family has started to depend on Aleksey’s charity. He brings us food, but I never eat any of it. Women mustn’t take food from soldiers because they rape the women who accept their food. Then deny it was rape and say it was prostitution. If my family receives Aleksey’s food, that’s okay, but I won’t. I don’t starve,