Free Lie to Me by Chloe Cox

doesn’t mean I don’t take advantage, from time to time, of the swank bathroom my mom insisted on having put in. I mean, my mother would kill me if she thought I was letting all that marble go to waste.
    I run the water and strip, saving the rest of my cold beer for when I’m submerged in the hot water, and the brief chill on my bare skin reminds me of what I felt when he put his hand on mine.
    Damn it. I can’t even be naked without thinking about Marcus.
     
    I still can’t believe my physical reaction to him. It’s somehow more intense than it was years ago, if that’s even possible—and I was sure it wasn’t possible, because of what happened after he left during what I refer to as my Dark Period. I’m frankly astonished. It’s like my sexuality has been partially defined by Marcus Roma, and now I need him to…I just need him.
    It fucking sucks . Why does it have to be him?
    Because he’s going to leave again. I don’t care what he says to me in a bar when he’s trying to be charming. And he’s still the guy who left and broke my heart, and he still hasn’t offered a damn explanation.
    And I’m still going to take him up on his offer.
    I sigh, admitting the truth. What choice do I have? Dill needs to go to camp, and I need answers and closure. And I need to make him suffer. The only real question is whether I’ll be able to resist Marcus Roma and end up on top in the end.
    “On top” was not a helpful phrase.
    I sink back into the water and try to think of whether I’ve ever been able to resist Marcus. Not just the man himself, but his influence. It’s a question I’ve thought about before, when trying to get over him. If my parents hadn’t gotten into that car to go on their first getaway weekend in years and gotten run off the road by a drunk, would he have been the same force in my life?
    I always think about the one day I went back to the gym after school with Katya and Rosa to watch the fighters after Marcus and I started training. It was after we’d gotten kind of close, Marcus coming to check on me when I as sick, stuff like that.
    Anyway, we showed up, hung around the gate, trying to pretend we weren’t looking and being looked at. Same as always.
    Marcus didn’t make any pretense about anything. The second he saw me there, leaning against the fence with the other girls, he ripped off his gloves and walked right over, ignoring everyone else, his gray-green eyes boring into me. He unlatched the gate, came outside, grabbed me by the elbow, and walked me down the block while the other girls watched in hushed, jealous silence.
    “What do you think you’re doing?” he said. He was almost angry. It was the first time I’d seen him register any kind of strong emotion at all.
    “What do you mean, what am I doing?” I asked. “I’m, you know, whatever. Hanging out. What people do.”
    “With them?” he said, tilting his head towards the girls by the gate.
    “Yeah. So?”
    I was already defensive, because, truth be told? It was kind of lame. I was definitely kind of bored, even if watching Marcus work out had its merits.
    “You know what they’re here for?” he said.
    I thought about his question. On the one hand, it was obvious. They were here to flirt, to be seen. But what was the harm in that? Who cared?
    Marcus answered for me, pointing at them. “They’re here because they don’t have anything better to do than hope someone wants to fuck them. That’s all they’re here for.”
    I didn’t say anything. He was right. And when he said it out loud like that it was impossible to deny how dumb it was.
    Marcus leaned in closer, his hand still on my elbow. I could feel his hot breath on me, and I stopped breathing.
    “You know how these guys talk about them?” Marcus said.
    “I don’t care,” I said, defiant, almost glad to have something to argue. “Those guys are assholes.”
    “Yeah, they are,” Marcus said. “And I don’t want them being assholes to you.”
    I was