Free Bleeding Heart by Alannah Carbonneau

swirls of woven soft pink peonies - yes, peonies - my favorite flower - stretched over the stone. Connecting the four pillars was a glimmering, twinkling netting of lights. Through the netting, vines of brilliant, healthy greens had been woven, some hanging, in graceful ribbons, from the netted roof.
    Scattered along the fringe of the stone patio floor were tables covered in a soft pink silk cloth with adorable, elegant white wooden chairs. Wrapped in a cascading tie around the back of the chair was white tool. Crystal vases had been centered on the table and lush bouquets of pink and white peonies had been artfully positioned.
    Off to the side, I saw the altar, the seating, and the aisle. My heart sped as I took in the sight of the place where I would undoubtedly give myself to Calix. In a garden of abundant green, chairs that matched those around the tables had been positioned to face an altar of incomparable beauty. Pink and white peonies had been woven along the branch-like arch Calix would stand beneath, waiting for me. And over the aisle I would walk, hundreds of pink and white petals had been tossed over the green of the grass.
    Standing here over the balcony, with every breath I took, I could smell the sweet freshness of the flowers below. There was no doubt in my mind that Calix had spent thousands upon thousands of dollars to create the magic in the garden below. It truly would be a dream wedding - but with no family to share the day with, if felt more like a burden.
    Calix chose that moment to place his hands on the railing on either side of my body, caging me in his arms. He dipped his head to the side of mine and asked low, “Do you like it, love?”
    “I,” I paused hesitantly. “It’s beautiful, Calix.”
    He pulled in a breath, sensing my distress. “But?”
    I turned in his arms, finding his body extremely close to mine. “But I wish my family could be here.” I looked up into his blue eyes that were fastened on my face in study. “I wish Amy could see the magic, the transformation,” I closed my eyes slowly before opening them. “She would fall in love with this, with you - to see this. And Jaylah, oh,” I covered my lips with a shaky hand. “She would be so romanticized. I swear to you she wouldn’t stop dancing, dreaming about a prince sweeping her off her feet beneath the twinkling lights shining alongside the stars. And my mom - she would cry. She would be so happy that one of her babies had found a man who wanted, and could, give something like this to her.”
    A tear slid from the corner of my eye and Calix wiped it away with the pad of his thumb before catching the back of my neck in his palm. His voice was gruff. “But if they were here, if you had your family, would you still be so willing to go through with this day, love?”
    “Yes.” There was no hesitation, regret, uncertainty or deceit in my reply. It was the honest truth - and it surprised me.
    I wasn’t the only one who was surprised.
    Calix hissed in a sharp breath as he stared down at me, and then his mouth was on mine. And my hands were around the back of his neck, in his hair, over his strong shoulders. His body was against mine. My back pressed into the railing as he kissed me, sliding his tongue between my lips - tasting me. There was so much heat in this kiss I felt it in my toes. Calix hadn’t kissed me with such abandon since the night on the dock. And I didn’t know it until now, but I missed it. I missed feeling his lips on mine. I missed feeling him against me. I just missed him. Despite all the discomfort he’d pushed me to accept, he’d given me so much more comfort than I ever could have expected. In Calix, I had something I didn’t understand, but I knew I needed. So, even if my family were here, I’d still marry him. Despite all he’d taken from me and all he’d done to me, I’d still marry him.
    It was in that moment, I realized I was gone. The Nova I’d always known was gone - replaced by a woman