Free Uneasy Relations by Aaron Elkins

rhinoceros), and a collection of hollowed-out bones that was dubbed a xylobone. The alleged discoverer of these instruments, “Adrian Todkopf,” went so far as to theorize that the Neanderthals’ fondness for music might well have accounted for their extinction: “Maybe their music scared away all the game. They would have produced an awful racket oompah-pahing all over the place.”
    To Gideon’s knowledge, no one other than a handful of creationists took it as anything but the joke it was — except for Rowley Boyd. Shortly after the article came out, Gideon had sat, one of a half-dozen mortified fellow anthropologists, as Rowley heatedly (for him) and at length attacked the article as preposterous . . . because, among other things, “the true woolly rhinoceros —
Coelodonta antiquitatis
— has never been associated with the Neander Valley!” When it was gently explained to him that the article was an April Fool’s gag, his response was a stricken, incredulous question:
“Why would anyone joke about something like that?”
    “... but now,” Adrian continued, as always serenely oblivious to the prattling of others, “inasmuch as all of us who are going to take part in this evening’s festivities are here together, it might be a good time to finalize the program plans. Corbin, my boy, perhaps you’d care to address the details.” There weren’t many people who could call a Stanford professor “my boy” and get away with it, but Adrian was one of them.
    “Certainly, Dr. Vanderwater,” Corbin said soberly, having cleared his throat first. The minutely but heavily written-upon four-by-six card in front of him showed that he had already given the matter considerable thought. “As our first order of business, I suggest we agree upon a moderator for the event, someone to run things and keep us to a schedule.”
    “Can’t you do that, Corbin?” someone suggested.
    “I suppose so . . . yes,” Corbin replied as guardedly as if he’d been asked to facilitate the next session of the UN Commission on Disarmament, “but I think it would be more appropriate to have someone of greater stature. Dr. Vanderwater, would you be willing to take that on?”
    “Well, I don’t know about ‘running things’,” Adrian said jovially, tipping a few drops of Tullamore Dew into his coffee from his leather-covered flask, “but I’ll be glad to apply the hook if people run on too long. That is, if the others would like me to.”
    This was met with generally mild acclamation and a little indifferent hand-clapping. Nobody gave much of a damn, it appeared. Except Audrey Godwin-Pope, Gideon observed. Audrey’s head snapped up and her eyes glinted with something like indignation, but only for a moment, after which she’d joined in the tepid applause.
    How like the three of them, a now thoroughly relaxed Gideon thought with amusement. For fat, rosy-cheeked Adrian, affable and avuncular, the limelight was his natural habitat, and wherever he was, in whatever group, he gravitated naturally to it. The idea that anyone might object would have come as a crushing blow to him. Corbin, on the other hand, was just the man you’d want in charge of the behind-the -scenes details; the more trivial they were, the harder he’d work. And Audrey — so capable and accomplished in her own right, and yet so sensitive to slights, real or fancied, so vigilant in protecting her status against all comers.
    In a very real way, Adrian’s happy association with the Europa Point dig was due to Audrey. As the Horizon Foundation’s director of field archaeology, she’d been the one who had invited him to direct the dig when Ivan Gunderson had offered the site to them. It was no secret, however, that at first she’d been far from satisfied with what she considered to be Adrian’s extravagantly expensive running of it. She had maintained close administrative oversight and they had quarreled several times over costs. Adrian had grumbled publicly