entered the Condemned Warriors world in order to bring her home.
I am speechless as she recalls her recovery and the months that followed, and just when I think she’s going to tell me about how she found her happily ever after, she throws me a curveball. Her nightmare didn’t end. Instead, she was taken by a surviving member of the Condemned Warriors seeking revenge, and once again, Viper came to her rescue.
“I wanted to forget and every time I thought I was close, the memories came rushing back. I was taken back in time, forced to relive the agony all over again. It was Viper who saved me, not just from the situation I was in, but from myself. Without him, I would’ve continued to run and never faced my demons. They would have won and I wouldn’t be the person I am today. You can’t let Rattletop win, Bella.”
In this moment, for the first time, I see the real Jade – the person she was before and the person she has become. In an instant, she has become my inspiration, not only because she survived, but because she overcame. To see her now, you wouldn’t know anything about her past. She is even stronger than I gave her credit for.
“I’m not like you, I don’t think I can,” I admit, looking over at her with tear filled eyes.
“You’re stronger than you think you are. The first thing you have to do is learn to trust again.” Reaching over, she lays her hand upon my own. “To open up and not be ashamed. Stop blaming yourself. It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen.”
“You are one of the lucky ones, Bella. The people you’ve surrounded yourself with care about you and with their help, you will get through this. And maybe in time, you’ll even open up to me,” Dr. Hamilton says, smiling at both of us.
I want that more than anything, but just like always, I am gripped by fear. Talking about it will make it even more real, that’s something I can’t accept. “I can’t do this,” I say, shaking my head as I rush from the room.
CHAPTER 15
Bella
I am literally shaking as I descend the staircase. With each step I take, the panic in my chest rises, making it harder to breathe. When I finally reach the bottom step, I pause. Closing my eyes, I focus on the laughter that erupts from within the main room, and slowly my fear begins to disappear.
Why do I keep doing this to myself? I’m safe here. I know this, yet I’m still afraid. My nightmare has ended, I remind myself. Rattletop is no more. Inhaling deeply, I open my eyes, determined to go through with this and start moving on with my life.
Slowly I push myself forward until I am standing in the doorway. The room is crowded, twenty or so people scattering the area with plates piled high with food.
Gathering every ounce of strength within me, I make my way towards the large kitchen area, grateful when I see Jade leaning against the large counter.
“You’re such a fuckin’ pig,” she laughs, looking at the plate in Maze’s hand.
“Hey, I’m a growing boy,” he retorts.
“Yeah, you’re growing all right,” she giggles, patting his round belly.
“You sayin’ I’m fat?” Maze asks in an all too serious tone.
“Yeah lard ass, she is. So how about saving some for the rest of us?” Viper pipes in, coming to stand beside his wife.
“Fine,” Maze mutters, jutting his lower lip out in an exaggerated pout. “But just to set the record straight, I ain’t the only fucker who’s put on a few pounds around here,” he says, eying the rest of the men in the room.
“I’d say it’s more than just a few pounds.”
I startle at the sound of Blake’s voice, a low squeal escaping my throat, and suddenly all eyes are on me. A blush creeps upon my face as I lower my head. Quickly I turn, the need to escape overpowering me. I barely make it to the base of the stairway when I hear Blake’s voice calling from behind me.
“Bella! Where
I am speechless as she recalls her recovery and the months that followed, and just when I think she’s going to tell me about how she found her happily ever after, she throws me a curveball. Her nightmare didn’t end. Instead, she was taken by a surviving member of the Condemned Warriors seeking revenge, and once again, Viper came to her rescue.
“I wanted to forget and every time I thought I was close, the memories came rushing back. I was taken back in time, forced to relive the agony all over again. It was Viper who saved me, not just from the situation I was in, but from myself. Without him, I would’ve continued to run and never faced my demons. They would have won and I wouldn’t be the person I am today. You can’t let Rattletop win, Bella.”
In this moment, for the first time, I see the real Jade – the person she was before and the person she has become. In an instant, she has become my inspiration, not only because she survived, but because she overcame. To see her now, you wouldn’t know anything about her past. She is even stronger than I gave her credit for.
“I’m not like you, I don’t think I can,” I admit, looking over at her with tear filled eyes.
“You’re stronger than you think you are. The first thing you have to do is learn to trust again.” Reaching over, she lays her hand upon my own. “To open up and not be ashamed. Stop blaming yourself. It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen.”
“You are one of the lucky ones, Bella. The people you’ve surrounded yourself with care about you and with their help, you will get through this. And maybe in time, you’ll even open up to me,” Dr. Hamilton says, smiling at both of us.
I want that more than anything, but just like always, I am gripped by fear. Talking about it will make it even more real, that’s something I can’t accept. “I can’t do this,” I say, shaking my head as I rush from the room.
CHAPTER 15
Bella
I am literally shaking as I descend the staircase. With each step I take, the panic in my chest rises, making it harder to breathe. When I finally reach the bottom step, I pause. Closing my eyes, I focus on the laughter that erupts from within the main room, and slowly my fear begins to disappear.
Why do I keep doing this to myself? I’m safe here. I know this, yet I’m still afraid. My nightmare has ended, I remind myself. Rattletop is no more. Inhaling deeply, I open my eyes, determined to go through with this and start moving on with my life.
Slowly I push myself forward until I am standing in the doorway. The room is crowded, twenty or so people scattering the area with plates piled high with food.
Gathering every ounce of strength within me, I make my way towards the large kitchen area, grateful when I see Jade leaning against the large counter.
“You’re such a fuckin’ pig,” she laughs, looking at the plate in Maze’s hand.
“Hey, I’m a growing boy,” he retorts.
“Yeah, you’re growing all right,” she giggles, patting his round belly.
“You sayin’ I’m fat?” Maze asks in an all too serious tone.
“Yeah lard ass, she is. So how about saving some for the rest of us?” Viper pipes in, coming to stand beside his wife.
“Fine,” Maze mutters, jutting his lower lip out in an exaggerated pout. “But just to set the record straight, I ain’t the only fucker who’s put on a few pounds around here,” he says, eying the rest of the men in the room.
“I’d say it’s more than just a few pounds.”
I startle at the sound of Blake’s voice, a low squeal escaping my throat, and suddenly all eyes are on me. A blush creeps upon my face as I lower my head. Quickly I turn, the need to escape overpowering me. I barely make it to the base of the stairway when I hear Blake’s voice calling from behind me.
“Bella! Where
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