Free Beside Still Waters by Tricia Goyer

her shawl and hung it on a hook inside the door, remembering the first time Aaron had talked to her in a caring way. She'd been eleven and he was the same age. He'd told her he'd liked her Fonna-zu ruck —her new dress that buttoned in the front. The Hinna-zu ruck, the dresses of little girls, buttoned in the back, so Marianna had felt like a grown woman as she wore the dress for the first time. Aaron's comment had added to her joy that day, and she'd liked him more than the other boys. And it was obvious the he liked her, too.
    Inside the Hershberger house, the portable walls between the living room and dining room had been taken down, opening up the space. A group of men now worked, lining the room with long wooden benches without backs. Propane lanterns lit the space. A few women had already taken their seats, occupying the dining room area. Soon the men would fill the living room, filing in and sitting according to age.
    Ellie rested her cheek on Marianna's shoulder, and even though the toddler was heavy, Marianna wasn't ready to find her seat yet.
    She glanced around but didn't see Rebecca anywhere. Ever since she'd turned sixteen, her best friend Rebecca had missed more days of church than she'd attended, yet Marianna thought it would be different since this week's meeting was in her aunt's house, not twenty feet from Rebecca's home.
    A glance at a long bench she saw Mem was already deep in whispered conversation with the woman sitting next to her. Marianna looked at the clock and noticed they still had twenty minutes before church started. She could run over and check on Rebecca and still be back in time for the beginning of the service.
    "Go to the bench. Mem wants you." Marianna placed her sister on the floor. With a slight pout Ellie made her way to where her mother sat.
    Marianna walked through the kitchen, slipped out the back door, and strode across the damp grass to Rebecca's house. Opening the door Marianna slipped inside and made her way up the stairs toward Rebecca's room. She wasn't sure if her friend was even there. There were many nights Rebecca stayed in town with Englisch friends, but Marianna hoped she was home. If she wasn't able to talk to someone, she was afraid her words would burst from her—like the fat drops falling from the clouds outside.
    She knocked on the door, but there was no response. Marianna pressed her ear tighter against the unpainted, wooden panel and thought she heard the sound of music. She turned the knob and pushed the door open. Rebecca sat in the window sill, smoking a cigarette and listening to the radio. The battery-powered radio was turned down so low it sounded like a jumble of noise. But Marianna knew that Rebecca's reason for even bringing a battery-powered radio into the house, playing Englisch music, wasn't because she liked rock music, but because she could—no one would stop her. It hurt Marianna's heart to see. As Dat would say, it was the sign of a hardened heart when one turned one's back to the ways of their ancestors.
    Rebecca's eyes widened in horror at the opening of the door. Then they narrowed again to their half-opened state when she saw who it was.
    Marianna nodded to her friend, entered, then closed the door behind her. "Good morning. Yer braver that I, smoking in the window in that outfit in full view of the boys."
    With tentative steps Marianna approached the window and peered down into the yard behind the barn. It was there the unmarried men hung around, close enough under the barn's eves not to get wet, but far enough into the yard to get a view of Rebecca wearing a night dress.
    "Yes, well, I know for a fact, that a few friends of ours went on dates with those very boys, sleeping over at their houses last night, so don't try to make me feel ashamed. My father does a good enough job of that." As if emphasizing her point, Rebecca took a long drag from her cigarette and then tossed it to the ground two stories below.
    Heat rose to Marianna's cheeks,