Free Ten Things I Hate About Me by Randa Abdel-Fattah

we have talked about this topic enough. Let us talk about something else.” Then suddenly he loses steam and seems to deflate in his chair. He sighs heavily, picks up his cup of tea, and asks Amo Ameen to raise the volume on the eight o’clock news.

14
    From: [email protected]
    To: [email protected]
    Have you ever been to Lebanon? What’s it like?
    From: [email protected]
    To: [email protected]
    I was only seven so I don’t remember much. I can remember that my grandma had a huge pile of Mars bars in her refrigerator and boxes of Kellogg’s cornflakes, which she had bought at a ridiculously expensive price just so we’d feel at home.
    So what are you like at school? Are you popular? An introvert or an extrovert? Are you a teacher’s pet?
    From: [email protected]
    To: [email protected]
    Popularity is relative. I’m not trying to be pretentious, but that’s the way I see it. You can be popular among a group of computer nerdsbut unpopular among the jocks. Last year a chubby kid, Daniel, was getting picked on by this jerk in my class during a volleyball match. Daniel’s pretty overweight and he can’t reach the ball to save his life. It pissed me off, though, because he’s a really decent guy. Wicked sense of humor, smart as anything. The jerk—his name was Bobby—made Jessica Simpson look like Einstein. So I tripped Bobby and he fell flat on his face. Sealed my unpopularity with Bobby, cemented my popularity with Daniel.
    Moral of the story: If you’re going to trip somebody, make sure you can outrun them when they manage to get up again. I earned myself a pretty good punch in the gut for that!
    From: [email protected]
    To: [email protected]
    Ohhh, I’ve got myself a hero for an e-mail buddy. So you’re sweet as pie and can’t run. Where have you been all my life, John?!
    From: [email protected]
    To: [email protected]
    So how about you? Do people lay the red carpet out for you at school, or do you spend each night agonizing over who you’ll sit next to in class tomorrow?
    From: [email protected]
    To: [email protected]
    Seeing as you’re totally anonymous to me, it can’t hurt to tell you that nobody at my school knows about my background. That’s whyI’m not known as Jamilah at school. I anglicize my name. And dye my hair.
    From: [email protected]
    To: [email protected]
    I don’t understand the anglicizing the name/dyeing hair thing. Explain.
    From: [email protected]
    To: [email protected]
    What if I told you I want to be a pilot when I grow up?
    From: [email protected]
    To: [email protected]
    I’d call the Intelligence services.
    From: [email protected]
    To: [email protected]
    You’re just playing along with me. What would you really think?
    From: [email protected]
    To: [email protected]
    Female pilots are sexy.
    From: [email protected]
    To: [email protected]
    Oh, shut up.
    From: [email protected]
    To: [email protected]
    So you live two lives?
    From: [email protected]
    To: [email protected]
    Pretty much. To everybody at school I have no cultural or religious baggage. I wish I could be me but I’m too scared.
    I’ve learned to adapt, like a chameleon changing its color to blend with its environment. That chameleon’s got the right attitude. Stick out and you’ve got no chance of survival.
    From: [email protected]
    To: [email protected]
    Doesn’t