Free Magnificent Bastard by Lili Valente

to offer to help carry the spoils of her shopping trip when she laughs and I freeze.
    “Thank you, Bash.” A sweet, vulnerable, heart-stopping grin lights up her face. “But I’m warning you, if you keep saying things like that, I might just start to believe them.”
    “You should believe them,” I say softly, no longer wanting to be seen. I don’t want her to know I’m here. It feels like a violation of her privacy to observe her without her knowledge, but I can’t seem to look away. There’s something about that smile, something that makes me want to do whatever it takes to keep it on her face. “Get home safe, buttercup, and I’ll talk to you soon.”
    “Okay. Talk soon.” She ends the call and drops her phone back into her purse, her grin growing wider as she leans her head back to look up at the sky.
    She looks excited, hopeful, like a dream she’s had for a long time is coming true.
    The expression sets my stomach to cramping for reasons that have nothing to do with the fact that I’ve yet to have second breakfast.
    I’ve never failed a client before and never really stressed about it too much—I’ve always been confident in my ability to deliver—but suddenly I’m worried. What if something goes wrong? What if our lack of preparation time comes back to bite us in the ass?
    Normally, I would refund her fee—Magnificent Bastard Consulting’s policy has always been satisfaction guaranteed or your money back—but Penny hasn’t paid me a dime. And this is about something much more important than money. This is about bringing a warm, funny woman back to the land of the living, about assuring Penny that there is no reason for her to spend another day cooped up in her apartment hiding from the world.
    If I fail to deliver the closure she needs to make that happen, I’m going to regret it for a long, long time.
    As Penny walks away, I stand in the shadows of the entrance to Chelsea Market, watching until she turns the corner and disappears from sight, my infamous confidence shaken by a smile.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN
    From the e-mail and text archives of Sebastian “Bash” Prince and Penny Pickett
    From: Penny4YourLobsterPot
    To: MagnificentBastard1
    Re: The luckiest woman in the world
    Hey Mr. Wonderful,
    Thought I’d drop you a line to let you know that I’m apparently the luckiest woman in the world. I was out-processing Mitzy Stevens today—she left us both a VERY nice tip, btw—when she felt compelled to give me a twenty-minute lecture on how lucky I was to be your “girlfriend.”
    According to Mitzy, you are one in a million, a unique mixture of brains, brawn, heart, and singularly magnificent forearms that has no match in the known world. I was warned that if I’m ever stupid enough to screw things up with you, I will regret it for the rest of my life and probably have to undergo extensive therapy.
    I thanked Mitzy profusely and swore I was well aware of the treasure I was lucky enough to call mine.
    I thought we were finished with the uncomfortable stuff, but then she launched into another twenty-minute lecture on how to discover (and fulfill!) your wildest sexual fantasies.
    I blushed so hard my entire body turned red.
    If possible, I’m planning to make sure you never take on a sex therapist as a client again.
    Your mortified fake girlfriend,
    Penny
    p.s. I’m also pretty sure she was trying to get me to tell her how big you are… ehem…below the belt. I pretended to be oblivious, but this line of questioning inspired more blushing and now I have a heat rash all over my chest.
    I’m blaming this completely on you.
    I may need to take a sick day to recover.
     
     
    From: MagnificentBastard1
    To: Penny4YourLobsterPot
    Re: The luckiest woman in the world
    You poor thing.
    Do you need me to come over and rub cortisone cream on your chest? I can flex my magnificent forearms for you while I tend to your rash and we’ll have you back to normal in no time.
    Your grateful boss,
    Bash
    p.s. She