Free We Only Know So Much by Elizabeth Crane Page A

questions. Priscilla is so not prepared.
    Do you have a driver’s license?
    Oh, yeah, I drove here!
    Great. What famous person reminds you of yourself?
    Oh wow, I don’t know, maybe Jennifer Aniston, no, wait, she’s old, oh, I know, Kristin Cavallari! I get that all the time. We hesitate to mention our knowledge of the televison series The Hills here, but for those of you who don’t know, Ms. Cavallari is a character who is considered to be bitchy, but who Priscilla thinks is just misunderstood. She’s hot, though, that’s the main thing.
    All three make notes. Priscilla hopes that’s a good sign.
    List the three adjectives that best describe you.
    Oh, wow, um, cute? Awesome? No, just kidding. Um, hm, can we come back to this one? Priscilla can’t believe she’s got nothing for this. She should have something better for this.
    Sure. What is your biggest pet peeve?
    Ugh, my freak little brother.
    Could you be more specific?
    He’s just weird. Pulls the legs off caterpillars. Plus sometimes he tries to get me to like, play with him and stuff. Priscilla rolls her eyes. You know, he’s nine.
    Nods.
    What is the worst thing that’s ever happened to you?
    The worst? Priscilla has to think about this one. She’d been pretty bummed when she hadn’t gotten hired at J.Crew and had to settle for Express. Was that the worst thing ever? Do they expect one of those stories like on American Idol or something where your dad was killed like three days before the audition? She’s got nothing like that. Getting dumped by Kyle had sucked, but she was so over it. But maybe that’s the way to go. It’s all she’s got right now. My ex broke up with me in a status update. Douchey, right?
    Nods. Like, totally unreadable fucking nods.
    Do you get sea-, air-, or carsick?
    No — well, I don’t think so. Why?
    In case we have location shoots and have to travel. Priscilla’s head spins when she hears the word “travel.” This could not possibly get better unless they told her one of the guys from Glee was going to be on this show. She doesn’t even like that show that much, but those guys are so hot.
    What is your level of education?
    I’m in my first year of junior college. But I kind of hate it.
    What are you studying?
    I haven’t picked a major. I’m thinking about dropping out. Priscilla actually thinks this is a right answer, that her willingness to drop out is a sign of her commitment to being on a reality show.
    More expressionless nods and note-taking from the panel, nods that Priscilla cannot read, so many freaking blank freaking nods. So she covers, just in case.
    Well, I mean, but maybe not. I don’t know.
    Name three of your favorite hobbies.
    What do you mean, like, stamp collecting or something?
    Yeah, like that.
    Priscilla thinks hard. She definitely has no hobbies. Is texting a hobby?
    Not really . . .
    Shopping?
    Well . . .
    Oh, okay . . . what about reading magazines? Priscilla loves magazines, has an expanding file full of pages she’s torn out with outfits she admired, and a separate folder for accessories. She’s never thought of this as a hobby. She’d started it as an idea file. Ideas for what, she’d always been unsure of. She reads everything from InTouch to Elle to Teen Vogue . It fits in her purse. She almost says this.
    No, more like — maybe games you like, or keeping a journal or something?
    No, not really, I guess. Priscilla is getting worried now. This is not going well. Why does it suddenly seem like she has no life? She’s never thought that before. But saying this stuff out loud makes it all sound so . . . she can’t think of a word. Pathetic. Wow. She’s feeling a little tear come up into her right eye. Not good. Swallow. Swallow.
    Do you have any phobias?
    What?
    Any phobias? Fears?
    Oh. I don’t think so. I mean, I probably wouldn’t like it if there were like snakes or bats hanging around my house.
    Have you been treated for, or experienced, any physical or mental illness