that you could possibly do.
Creative play—it’s part of your day
Try to be creative with fun things to do. Perhaps there are some films you want to see, or museums, exhibitions to visit or music that you want to listen to. You might think, “I can’t afford to do anything.” Certainly, financial concerns and limitations are real, but do you really mean “anything”? The challenge may be to find activities that are free—or at very low cost. For example, riding your bike, going to a free museum, taking a walk, visiting the library—all can be free and valuable. (Also, in Chapter Seven I look at some of the things that you can do that don’t cost you anything.)
Since you have a lot of time right now—and you won’t have this free time when you get back to work—try to have more fun doing what you wanted to do in the past but never had the time. One man who followed this advice began having so much fun keeping himself busy that, when he finally got a job, he said to me, “I wonder if this means I won’t have as much fun anymore.”
Some people—including the partners or spouses of the unemployed—will say that you don’t deserve to have fun if you are out of work. You should be looking for a job. Well, you should be looking for a job—but you can’t do that 24 hours a day. As I said earlier, looking for a job is your current job, but you also have another job: taking care of yourself. This will involve keeping busy, having daily plans, doing pleasurable and rewarding activities and having fun. Of course, you and your partner may need to discuss how money is spent, but being unemployed does not mean that you should deprive yourself of pleasure and fun activities. I would suggest that taking care of yourself—by doing rewarding activities—is a great investment that can pay off.
Having fun doesn’t mean that you neglect looking for a job. If you balance your job search with self-care, you will probably be more upbeat and in better physical and mental shape when you go for an interview. Having fun will improve your outlook and your ability to do a good interview. But it’s good to have fun no matter what. Just ask your kids.
Use the table below to list some fun things every day, every week. Plan fun things a day and a week in advance. If possible, allow yourself some “silly time,” just as if you are a kid for a few minutes each day. Having fun isn’t going to hurt anyone—there is nothing bad about pursuing happiness.
EXCERCISE: HAVING FUN
Keep track of what you actually do and what you felt and thought while you did these things. Here’s an example.
Fun things to do
When did you do this?
What you thought and felt while doing these things
Going for a bike ride
Tuesday morning
This is beautiful being out in nature, moving along the pavement, feeling the wind. Even if it rains, it’s great to be riding my bike. I used to enjoy this so much when I was a kid
Use this list of points to help you plan for more fun in your life:
•What are some things that you used to do that were fun?
•Schedule some fun every day.
•Give yourself permission to live a good life. If you can laugh every day, you are making progress.
•Look at people or animals who have fun—who know how to play—and learn from them. Look at the world from the innocence and awe of a child. Then, play.
SUMMARY
Getting active and staying active is one of the best ways of taking care of yourself during this time between jobs. You don’t have to sit around passively waiting for a job to show up. Every day you actually have two jobs: looking for a job and taking care of yourself. Realistically, you may need to spend more time on the second job—taking care of yourself. It’s important to have an active, coping strategy every day—rather than waiting to get a job so that you can “move on.” You have to live your life every day. People who plan their days get more done and find that they have something to wake up