Free Keeping Your Head After Losing Your Job by Robert L. Leahy Page B

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    Being passive is a guarantee for getting depressed. In this chapter we have examined some specific, concrete and simple things to do today—and each day—to make your life better. Now let’s review some of the main points.
    Have a daily plan, and a plan for every week so that you have rewarding and effective activities in your schedule. Be strategic in looking for a job. Take a problem-solving approach rather than dwelling on negatives, complaining or isolating yourself. Think of everyone as a potential lead, as part of a larger network of people who might be able to connect you to that job. And be sure to have some fun—you deserve it.
    Keep in mind that your mood depends on how you respond to your mood. Remember what I said at the beginning of this chapter. If you respond to your sad feelings with avoidance and passivity, you will feel more sad and hopeless. But if you respond to these feelings by getting out, living your life, and doing rewarding and effective things, you will feel better. Feeling better is about acting better.
    What is your strategy when that sad mood arises—because it will? Making your job looking for a job and taking care of yourself puts you in charge of your life. And, when those negative thoughts try to rob you of your happiness, you can act against them, do positive things anyway and prove to yourself that these thoughts are distorted and unrealistic. You are in charge—if you are willing to do the work.

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    BUILD YOUR SELF-ESTEEM
    In a recent article in the Wall Street Journal 26% of those currently working had some period of unemployment during the past 30 months. Nevertheless, many people who are unemployed feel a sense of shame. “I feel like a loser,” one man said. “People will look down on me.”
    The irony of these shameful thoughts is that they don’t seem to reflect the fact that unemployment is highly likely for millions of people in the workforce. Market conditions—changes in financial stability, declining demand, over-supply, and pessimism about business—have lead companies to lay workers off. The central and local government cuts mean that, at times, there is no alternative other than to lay off highly qualified workers. Private companies also suffer in difficult economic times. People have less money to spend, they are more cautious, there is less demand and companies lay off workers because there is less work needed. It’s a vicious cycle. Unemployment is part of a larger system of uncertainty, change and lack of control. It is often beyond the control of those who are laid off.
    Let’s look at how you can handle your self-critical thoughts and your sense of shame. What can you do?
    1: Normalize the problem
    When you watch the news, you recognize that you are not alone. Millions of people are in the same boat. That doesn’t mean the boat is sinking, it only means that market economies like ours go through ups and downs. If you are out of work, join the crowd. As I mentioned in Chapter One, about 36–38% of the adult population is not working at any given time. (This is the “labor participation rate.”) Unemployment is so widespread that there isn’t a family or a friend that doesn’t know someone who is out of work or who has once been out of work.
    Think about all the people you know who have been out of work at some point. It could be your father or mother, brother or sister, your friends, your neighbors, or your former colleagues. Whenever I discuss the issue of unemployment, people tell me their personal stories or the stories about people close to them. It’s an unfortunate but widely experienced problem—I can’t imagine anyone not knowing someone who has gone through a period of being unemployed.
    Danny lost his job in the construction business during one of the economic downturns. He knew construction work was cyclical, and when the economy was booming, there was plenty of work to go around. But when the economy stalled, lots of people were