tired.”
“You really must . The gardens are remarkable for the season.”
“I am sure you are correct . I have been so busy with Simon.”
Silence held for a moment, and she rushed to fill the awkward gap . “I used to be always out in the gardens at first light. I actually liked to hide under bushes and pretend I was a fairy caught by the morning light.”
He shot her the strangest look at that , his voice softer. “You must have been a most adorable sprite. I wish I could have seen you.”
Oh, but he had . She rambled on, trying to disguise the confusion his words and glance ignited. “I actually still sometimes pretend, although I’ve grown much too big to hide under bushes. Do you have any small trees?”
He didn’t answer . Did he think her mad? Grown women were not supposed to dream of being fairies, no matter the lives they sought to escape.
His expression remained cool, but she thought the slight tightening of his lips seemed troubled . She placed her utensils on her plate and rose.
“I am feeling a slight fatigue . As I mentioned I tire easily. Please excuse me.”
She felt the burn of his glance follow her as she fled the room. It seemed an eternity before she made it to her door.
Once inside she paced recklessly until just as she was about to retire , a maid arrived with a bunch of roses and set them by her bed.
The next morning, Lily hummed softly as she settled into the bright buttercup chair in the drawing room. The remade dress of the past duchess didn’t fit her perfectly, but after days spent wrapped in nothing but a nightdress and dressing gown, her new attire felt lovely. And it was lovely, too, to sit in the soft sunlight shining though the window and escape into the dream of being a real lady, of forgetting the past days.
Of course , any proper lady in Lily’s circumstances would be wearing the most unremitting of blacks. But that had not been an option.
When Gertrude brought the dress and the light slippers out before dinner she was full of apologies.
“I’ m sorry, my lady, but I couldn’t find any black. I asked the housekeeper about it, and she muttered that she was sure there weren’t any.”
“I am not sure I understand.”
”I know the past duchess must have mourned a year for the old duke, but all I could find were her half-mourning grays and lavenders.”
“They must have been given away before now. ” It really didn’t seem such a great mystery to Lily.
“I thought so at first, but it was odd, everything else is up there in the attics, packed carefully. It was only the blacks missing. I asked Nanny about it. She remembers everything.”
This was clearly leading someplace . Lily nodded at Gertrude to continue.
“Well, my lady, apparently on the anniversary of the old duke’s death, the duchess had every last piece of black she owned thrown in a brush heap and burned. She even threw her jet jewelry pieces in there herself. Did you ever hear of such a thing?”
Lily certainly had not . “Why did she do it?”
“I asked Nanny that too, but she sniffed and bustled away . Still, it’s shocking, isn’t it? In any case I think this made up very nicely. It’s lucky you’re smaller than the duchess was; it never does work well the other way.” Gertrude shook out the simple mauve dress, demonstrating the careful stitching.
Lily could not regret being unable to wear black for Worthington; even the light purple seemed a mockery. Putting aside the unpleasant thought, she thought of her mother sitting in the same spot, so many years before, her warm voice filling the corners of the room as she laughed with the duchess or cuddled Lily tight in her lap.
Lifting the teacup, Lily blew gently across the surface before letting the first taste pass her lips. As the pungent flavor filled her mouth, Lily could not help smiling. She had grown used to the most watered down teas, insipid brews suitable only for a sickroom. Worthington believed that spending money