Free Forget Me Knot by Sue Margolis

followed the tight, snaking route to ground level, then handed over a twenty-pound note at the barrier and waited for his change—such as it was.
    “And why did you keep trying to convince your mother that I’m posh? I can’t help feeling that you’re just as much of a snob as she is.”
    He turned on her. “I’m not a snob.”
    “Then what was all that stuff about the Dorset Cromptons and pretending I went to a private school?”
    “I was trying to tell her what she wanted to hear, that’s all.”
    Abby shook her head. “This has to stop. For both of our sakes.”
    He let out a long, slow breath. “OK, you’re right. I do have to sort out my relationship with Mother. It’s been a long time coming. Maybe I should get some counseling or something. That’s what people do, don’t they, when they’ve got problems?” He shook his head. “The idea of spilling one’s guts to a perfect stranger is just so… so un-British. And God only knows how I’m going to fit it in with everything else I’ve got on my plate. Can you just bear to give me some time?”
    There was a beseeching, almost childlike expression on his face. “Of course I can,” she said. “And I think seeing a counselor is a brilliant idea. Try not to panic. It’ll be fine. Promise.” She reached over and kissed his cheek.
    He said he wouldn’t stay at her flat that night, as she needed her sleep and he had to be up at the crack to catch the early shuttle to Edinburgh.
    “That’s OK,” she said, realizing that she had rather wanted him to stay over. After all the trauma and drama ofthe last few hours, she could have done with feeling his arms around her tonight.
    She couldn’t work out if he was genuinely concerned about not disturbing her or whether he was simply trying to avoid having sex. He’d spent weeks assuring her that things would get better, but they hadn’t. It had occurred to her several times that his lack of desire might be due to more than stress and overwork. Now the issue was really starting to play on her mind. She knew she had to confront it, but so far she’d chickened out for fear of hurting him. Now, maybe because of the adrenaline still in her system or the fact that she was still emotionally charged up after the row they’d been having, she couldn’t let it go.
    “Toby, I need to ask you something.”
    “What?”
    “Well, I can’t help wondering whether our lack of love-making is somehow my fault.” She needed to ease into this. She couldn’t come straight out with it and accuse him of being gay.
    “ Your fault? How do you work that out?”
    “Well, am I doing something wrong in bed? Maybe you don’t find me sexy.”
    “Abby, of course I find you sexy. You’re a beautiful woman. Any man would find you sexy. And, no, you’re not doing anything remotely wrong.”
    “Then why do I get the feeling that it’s not me you want? Sometimes I think you’d rather be with somebody else.”
    “Hang on, are you saying I’m cheating on you?”
    “Are you?”
    “God, no!”
    “So if there’s nobody else, then…”
    “Abby, what are you trying to say?”
    “I’m saying, could it be that maybe… just maybe you don’t like women.”
    He burst out laughing. “You think I’m gay?”
    “Well, it did occur to me.”
    “So, you think because I dress well and occasionally have difficulty getting it up that I must be—”
    “It’s not occasionally. It’s all the time.”
    “Whatever. Christ, Abby, that is such a narrow-minded, knee-jerk reaction. I’m surprised at you, I really am.”
    “So, you’re not, then?”
    “OK, read my lips. I, Toby Kenwood, am not, never have been and never will be gay.”
    “It’s just that we haven’t done it in so long….”
    “Abby, I get tired, that’s all. It’s as simple as that. I know it’s hard on you and it makes you feel neglected, but I will do something about it. It occurred to me that maybe my testosterone level is down from working all these hours.