bringing her
breasts up to his mouth. His lips closed on one swollen nipple, and she found
out just what hot and wet really meant. His tongue swirled around the peak, and
suddenly she could almost feel it swirling on her clit; and then he sucked, a
gentle pull, then more forcefully. The other breast the same. And back, this time sucking, and suddenly, a slow, careful bite on
the peak.
“ Ahhhh !” Her fingers dug into his
shoulders in shock as electrifying sparks shot through her. Had that sound come
from her? She pushed against his chest, horrified. She never lost control like
that; she was a—Oh God, she wasn't a whore. Not anymore. Shame washed through
her, filling her until there remained no room for arousal.
He'd drawn
back when she stiffened. His sharp eyes considered her face, then her hands and
her breasts. “Why does being aroused scare you?” he asked softly.
She closed
her eyes.
“No, look
at me, little cat.”
She could
feel his intense gaze on her, like warmth stroking over her face; she could
feel how he waited for her compliance. Her hands in fists, she opened her eyes.
“Good
girl.” His lips curved up in approval. “You told me you don't get aroused
because of something in your past.”
He waited
for her nod.
“Why did
that something make you frightened of your own response?”
Because whores don't feel. Because johns don't care . Men paid for an available
body, not a responsive one. Because losing track of surroundings was a way to
get hurt. “I just don't like it.”
His eyes
crinkled even as he shook his head. “You do like it, little cat. But you don't
want to, because it scares you. There is a difference.” His warm hand stroked
over her breast again, and she was horrified to feel her nipple pucker and poke
into his palm. “What would happen if you didn't have any choice? If you couldn't push my hands away or keep me from continuing? You could only feel.”
The
thought shut off her breathing for a second. Not have any control? Fear filled
her even as heat seared through her veins, and her nipples tightened until they
actually hurt.
He nodded
as if she'd spoken. “Want and fear both. So how brave are you, little cat? Will
you let me take you further?”
Her body
urged for more. Her head said no, but she knew damned well that her head was
screwed up. How brave was she? She didn't think her body would ever, ever be
interested in sex again. Shouldn't she see…? But what if I panic? What if I don't? “All right,” she whispered.
God, how
could that approving smile of his make her feel so good inside?
He stroked
her cheek. “Brave little cat. Trust isn't easy for you, is it? Because you
don't fully trust me, we'll stay here in public. The club safe word is 'red.'
Do you understand what it's for?”
“Yes,
but—”
“Yes,
what?” He frowned at her, recalling her to his rules.
“Yes,
Sir.”
“Good.” He
rose to his feet with her still in his arms.
“Hey!” She
wiggled. What was he going to do?
“You don't
have permission to speak, little cat. You may use your safe word if you need
to.” He walked across the room to a leather-covered table and laid her on it,
then whipped a strap over her ribs to hold her in place. She'd thought he meant
to control her by using his hands to hold her. Like he had
been.
She
struggled to sit up, and he pressed her shoulders down. “ MacKensie . We have a deal. If you became aroused, I
could continue, right?”
Heart
pounding, she sucked in air as she stared up at him. His hands were warm on her
shoulders, his eyes level. Patient. She had agreed.
She gave him a short nod.
“And you
agreed to submit to me, knowing what BDSM involved. You also agreed to continue
a minute ago. Right?”
Oh God,
she had agreed. Okay, okay. This was just part of BDSM, and he wasn't paying
her. I'm not a whore, just someone doing
kinky things . Kind of. She nodded again.
“Good.” He
smiled slightly, cupping her cheek, then touched her
lips