Free Phantom Limbs by Paula Garner

turned out, the quest for perfection burned through a lot of soap.
    Afterward, I went into my parents’ bathroom and compared the smell of my dad’s deodorant to mine. Mine was better. I put some on — and then I put some more on, because I was sweating bullets just
thinking
about Meg, so who knew what kind of puddle I’d be sloshing around in when we actually came face-to-face.
    I followed my nose downstairs to look at the pie on the windowsill. I dragged a finger through the glistening pink juices that had bubbled up on top of the golden crust. It tasted delicious, but I was still a little nauseated. I stood around nervously while my mom made potato salad and grouched at her when she talked to me. I had an odd rush of emotion when she put crumbled blue cheese and an entire jar of capers in the potato salad, because Meg loved blue cheese and capers and my mom knew it.
    Back upstairs I got paranoid and decided to hide my magnolia sonnet, which Chapman had returned to me with an A in red at the top. Not that Meg would ever look through my desk drawers, but still — better safe than sorry. I glanced around my room for a hiding place and finally tucked it into an inner pocket of my swim bag.
    And then it occurred to me that maybe I should give her something
—
some kind of welcome-back present or friendly gesture. Shouldn’t I? I had always given her stuffed animals for Christmas and birthdays, usually making up complicated histories and personalities for each one. Had she outgrown stuffed animals? Probably, but I couldn’t think of anything else that wasn’t too expensive, too personal, or too inappropriate.
    I jumped on my bike and zipped down to Willow Grove’s small downtown strip. After hemming and hawing in the toy store for a good twenty minutes, I finally settled on a stuffed skunk that looked shy and mischievous and kind of sweet.
    When I got home, I jotted down a story for him.
    Name : Herbert McGillicutty
    History : unknown — claims he escaped a hostage situation overseas and arrived in a Polish ambassador’s carry-on bag, but is believed to lie. Arrived at wildlife orphanage one week ago
    Favorite foods : cupcakes with sprinkles, Limburger cheese, and sardine-and-peanut-butter sandwiches on raisin bread
    Physical/medical/emotional problems : flat feet, prone to ear infections, exhibits irrational fear of farm machinery
    Placement recommendations : would do well with a doting female caretaker and a home with nocturnal sorts. Keep separated from amphibians and exotic types. Has been known to become unruly and use foul language when provoked
    I attached his fact sheet around his neck and then got back in the shower, because bike riding is sweaty business. While in the shower, I had a sudden panic about my toenails, so I trimmed them when I got out, and then I trimmed my fingernails, too. I checked my nose and ears to make sure there were no unwanted loiterers. Then I peered farther up my nose, fretting over my nose hair. How do you know if you have too much of it? Meg was shorter than me now — she’d be able to see up my nose!
    I checked the toilet to make sure I didn’t leave any pee drops or pubic hairs on the bowl, in case Meg used this bathroom. Thinking about Meg using the bathroom prompted me to go through the medicine cabinet and the closet to make sure there was nothing embarrassing in there, like the acne treatment samples I’d gotten from the pediatrician at my last visit, or the lotion Meg might think I used for masturbating, which in fact I sometimes did. I hid them in the back of my underwear drawer — clichéd, maybe, but I was pretty sure Meg wasn’t about to go poking around in there.
    By 4:00, I was getting nervous that I hadn’t heard from her yet. According to my dad, Meg and Jay should have gotten in just after one. Why hadn’t she called or texted to let me know they’d landed? Had their flight been delayed, or had it just not occurred to her to text me? Or had I ruined