Free Safeword Quinacridone by Candace Blevins

make demands. He didn’t allow me to pick and choose the lessons; I had to accept whatever he thought I needed to hear, or push him away and learn nothing. Without him I could’ve turned into a monster, but he showed me how to corral my sadistic urges as he taught me how to safely hurt people without harming them.” He pulled back a little, his face tense as their eyes met, as if daring to hope he wouldn’t see contempt. He relaxed after a few seconds, saying, “The locked room holds the equipment I use.”
    Cara’s mind reeled as his fingertips brushed her cheek, caressed her jawline, smoothed the hair away from her face. She didn’t know what to say and she broke eye contact, resting her cheek on his chest once again. He finally said, “I’ll show you if you’d like, but I need you to understand its always consensual now. I treated the one girl badly before I knew better, but since her I haven’t hurt anyone after they gave their safeword.”
    She didn’t look up but finally said the phrase running through her mind. “But, you need to hurt people to enjoy sex?”
    His fingers touched under her chin, gently raising her face until their eyes met. His voice was firm, solid, as he held her gaze and said, “Yes.”
    How could he be so matter-of-fact? And why in tarnation was she so turned on? Shit, it was her turn to open up. She closed her eyes , took a breath, and began talking before she chickened out. “I used to fantasize about...”
    She stopped, debated whether it was accurate to say it in the past tense, decided it was easier than admitting she still wanted it, and started again. “About someone paying to fuck me, so I was nothing but a body to be used. I could never actually do it so I found strangers to have one-night stands with, pretending it was all I was to them — a body they’d paid for. Sometimes I think they saw me that way; they figured they bought me dinner and I owed them sex. It made it better.”
    His hand rubbed her back as his chin rested lightly on top of her head. “Thank you for being honest. We can play your fantasy out someday if you like. If my paying you would seem weird, I can donate the money to a charity of your choice. But not yet, that’s far in the future. Would you like to see the room? Or do you think it’ll be too scary?”
    The frightening thing was that she’d imagined herself a whore and he’d actually hired them — he was used to treating women the way she’d only fantasized. However, she enjoyed it when men were rough but no one had ever spanked her before. She’d liked it, but it hadn’t really hurt and she had a feeling a whip would be way different than a hand.
    “Will you ever want to do those things to me? Whip me? I don’t think I’d like that.”
    “If you don’t like it we won’t do it, but I’ll want you to try it once.” His eyes were kind, gentle, as he added, “Maybe next month, maybe next year; but not until I’m sure you’re ready, which will likely be a while after you first ask for it. I won’t rush you into it; we have lots of experimenting to do before we reach that point.”
    She took a deep, cleansing breath, and let it out. There was no danger of her asking for it, so she should be safe. “Yes. I want to see.”
    His arm stayed around her as he moved to her side and walked her to the locked door. He keyed a number sequence and put his hand on the palm pad. A light went from red to green and a mechanical voice said, “Speak, friend, and enter.”
    He calmly said, “Mellon,” and the light went out before the door opened inward on silent hinges.
    “Mellon?”
    His face blazed crimson. “It’s kind of a geek thing , the elven word for friend. It’s a riddle. Speak friend, and enter.”
    “Oh, The Lord of the Rings, right? Gandalf, and some door they needed to get through. I don’t recall the specifics, or what the word was, but I remember the riddle. And a lake with a monster.”
    “Yes, that’s it. It’s voice