Free The Water Room by Christopher Fowler Page B

loved her with the desperation of someone who had seen too many others fall, but saw a damaging blankness inside her heart that no one could fill. Lost siblings, dead parents, the whispered cruelties of children drawn too close—May’s family had been so unlucky that it was hard not to believe that some dark star trailed them, bringing harm and hardship in its wake.
    Three months earlier, following signs of improvement and a positive report from her doctor, Arthur Bryant had put April forward as a candidate for a new law-enforcement training initiative. The Chief Association of Police Officers had invited non-professionals to train alongside detectives in an exercise designed to bridge the widening gulf between police and public. It had seemed an ideal opportunity to protect April while allowing her to rediscover some independence, but now she had suffered a relapse, retreating further back into the shadows of her bleakly pristine flat.
    ‘You know none of us like you living here by yourself, April.’ The Holloway Road was a railed-off corridor of run-down pubs and short-lease shops selling a curious mixture of plastic bins and mobile-phone covers, an area where too many lives were lived at discount rates.
    ‘I’m not earning, Granddad—I can’t afford to move anywhere else.’
    ‘You need a place you can call home, somewhere safe and light. I told you I’d help you financially—and could you not call me that?’
    ‘You think you’re going to stay young for ever, just because Arthur is three years older and acts his age. You have such
conviction
. You always knew who you wanted to be. I never had the faintest idea.’ She stubbed out the cigarette and thought for a moment. ‘I’m starting to wonder if I exist beyond the walls of this flat. I could go out into the open air and vanish.’
    Observation is a habit officers find hard to turn off. May could see how the apartment reflected April’s state of mind, with its numbingly neat compositions of disinfected crockery and cutlery, forks all set in the same direction in their drying rack. Here, she could control her environment. Outside was only the stomach-churning panic of disorder. May’s granddaughter was twenty-three, but already the damage ran so deep that he feared she might never find a way to restore her spirit. As a child she had been untamed and tomboyish, a noisy, messy, natural force. Looking at the polished shelves of paperbacks coordinated by their spines, the towels and rugs stiff with overwashing, he could find no trace of the wild girl he’d loved. The problem was exacerbated by the fact that it could never be discussed. Her mother’s death was a sealed subject; to speak of it would require an acknowledgement of guilt that would destroy the little faith April had left in him. Perhaps there would come a time when an honest exploration of the past would prove healing. Until then, they would have to step warily around the events of the terrible night that lay between them like an open mineshaft.
    ‘Arthur reckons you’d be a good liaison officer with the unit. He thinks you’re a very perceptive young woman. He believes there are skills that can’t be taught. He wouldn’t have proposed you if he thought you couldn’t handle it.’
    She raised her eyes as if seeing him for the first time, and for a moment it seemed he might win her over. ‘Uncle Arthur.’ The hint of a smile appeared. ‘I remember the smell of his pipe. Everything was scented with eucalyptus for days after he’d visited. He used to leave sweets under my pillow.’
    Bryant had always believed in her, even during her darkest moments. He had insisted on taking April to visit one of his oldest friends, Maggie Armitage, leader of the Coven of St James the Elder, who was as much a student of human nature as she was of white witchcraft. Maggie had pressed her hands over April’s and told him that her subject feared loss of control, that she quickly needed to regain her sense