pushed it aside.
Justin, of course, picked right up on that. “You never leave food.”
“I had a large breakfast.”
“You can tell me anything, you know that, right?”
I did know that, and I’d already told him about Ethan, about Mason’s career trajectory, about Mr. Foster killing Mason and Anna’s mother. I sighed again, leaning my forehead against my hand. I knew I couldn’t hide the other little detail forever, not when I was so torn up about it and Justin knew me too damn well.
“We’ve been sleeping together,” I said flatly. Justin was silent and I couldn’t look at him, studying my uneaten sandwich instead. “It’s happened twice now, and it almost happened again the other night. Well, it kinda did happen. He used his—”
Justin threw up a hand in defense. “I don’t need to know the details!”
“Right.”
“You know that twice is a coincidence,” Justin said frantically. “Three times is the pattern, that’s the real kicker, and it doesn’t count if it’s only kinda so, really, all you have to do is stay away from him and not let his dick near you again and you’re fine, you’re not officially sleeping together.”
I raised an eyebrow in exasperation. “Are we in tenth grade all of a sudden?”
“I stand by it.”
“It wasn’t meant to happen the first or the second time, either! Clearly neither of us has any self-control around each other.”
“Do you love him?”
“God, Justin.” I ran a hand through my hair. “You can’t just ask me that.”
“Oh, fuck, you do.”
“No! I don’t even know him anymore.” That wasn’t entirely true, but it was relevant enough to my feelings to be a real issue. “He’s attractive and I have needs.”
Justin rolled his eyes. “That’s bull. There are tons of guys in this town who’d give their right arm to sleep with you.”
“I missed him,” I blurted out, instantly feeling ashamed, but I couldn’t stop it once it was out. “I got the guy I was head over heels in love with back from the dead. Tell me how I’m supposed to deal with that?”
My brother leaned across the wooden bench, putting a hand over my arm. “I know, sis. I’m just worried about you, that’s all.”
Ever since we were kids, Justin had looked out for me. He punched out the boy down the street who used to pull my pigtails; he held my hand as I told my parents I was pregnant with a dead man’s child at sixteen; and when I was raising my baby, he was always there, doing diaper runs and taking over when I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open.
When Mason had come into my life, Justin had been wary, but when he realized how much Mason loved me, he’d learned to trust Mason to the core.
That trust had been broken with Mason’s lies, though, and I knew how much it’d hurt my brother, even if he never showed it.
“I know you’ll never stop worrying about me,” I told Justin. “But you said you trusted me to make good decisions. Just trust me to handle this, please?”
He nodded, giving my arm a final squeeze before letting go. “Okay, I’ll stop whining at you.”
“Good.” I smiled. “Now let’s get dessert.”
I called Daisy back to the table, and actually felt my appetite return a little in time for cake. After we paid the bill, Justin climbed into his car with Daisy, and I was left alone in the parking lot, watching them drive away.
For the first time in a long, long time I felt lonely.
Anna was on her honeymoon, Justin was taking Daisy to see our parents overnight, and the diner was in the hands of my weekend staff.
And I was stuck here, too anxious to leave town in case something happened with Mason, some new development I’d need to know about.
I got in my own car, slumping at the wheel. My phone tempted me, the knowledge that Mason was only a phone call away something I couldn’t not think about.
You’re not dating, I told myself sternly. Calling him up to spend time with him felt a lot like dating. He’d