Free ROAR by Kallypso Masters Page A

choice, but his breakdown had been a blessing in disguise. His depression didn’t lift for months, even after finding the right meds and a psychologist who understood somewhat. During that time, Gunnar had Tori moved to this place in the Denver suburbs. He’d picked up all the costs saying that family looked out for each other. This facility was considered the best in the region, and she’d received better care during these past two years than even he could give her, easing some of Kristoffer’s guilt. In hindsight, he truly understood he couldn’t do it alone, although he’d been stubborn and depressed enough back then to think he was Superman.
    Only with tunnel vision, not X-ray vision.
    Gunnar loved Tori, sure, but loved and worried about Kristoffer even more. It was at that point two years after the accident that Kristoffer came to the realization he owed Gunnar not only for saving his life, but also for all he’d done for Tori. So Kristoffer had spent the next two years working as hard as he could to make money for Gunnar, knowing that a sizeable chunk of it went every month to paying for Tori’s astronomically expensive care. His investment efforts had more than quadrupled Gunnar’s assets, leaving Kristoffer feeling less of a burden to his cousin.
    In this facility, Kristoffer didn’t have to provide for her physical needs, so he could simply spend time holding her, talking with her. He’d also gone back to daily visits, but now they were more for him than her. This was how his visits would be as long as they both lived.
    He tried to envision the once vivacious woman he’d known before, but despite filling her room with framed photos of blissful times together, too often now he couldn’t bring himself to look at them. Those memories had faded over the years.
    At first, in the hospital, he couldn’t see the reality of what she’d become. Nowadays, all he could see was the shriveled, distorted woman suffering from years of atrophy. Hands drawn inward at the wrists, almost in a fetal position as her body’s muscles contracted from lack of use. Face contorted, mouth open as if in a silent scream.
    He’d stopped putting her through agonizing physical therapy after a while, too, hating to hear her groaning as if in pain. Again, the doctors said her brain couldn’t register feelings, but the sound nearly killed him.
    Her lack of awareness made it futile for him to share what he’d been doing today, but he did so anyway. This was the last connection they had, even if only one of them was aware that they had once been a loving couple. This had been his ritual every night she’d been here.
    What would he talk with her about this evening? He couldn’t tell her about last night, even though that had been in the forefront of his mind since the tour.
    Pamela.
    Guilt washed over him for thinking the name of another woman while here with his wife, although nothing had happened between the two of them. Why did a few inappropriate thoughts and a brief conversation with her make him feel as though he had cheated on Tori? His wife hadn’t known he existed for the past four years.
    He’d done nothing to dishonor his vows since he’d spoken them so many years ago, although last night his mind had wandered into unsafe territory.
    If not for his inattentive driving, Tori wouldn’t have been left in this state. Tamping down the familiar anger, Kristoffer pulled a chair closer to the bed and placed his hand on Tori’s cool arm. Her mouth drew up as if in pain, and her breathing grew louder. At times like this, he still wished she recognized him, but the doctors and nurses cautioned him there was no hope of a reversal at this point.
    How they could be certain, he didn’t know, but had to admit there’d never been even a spark of awareness from her since the night of the wreck.
    “It’s okay, Tori. I’m here now.” The NG feeding tube from her nose to her stomach that she’d depended on during those early months in