Free Unplugged by Lisa Swallow

at him ‘don’t do this to us; don’t make me care about you by playing with us’. But I don’t think he’s doing any of this on purpose; he doesn’t realise Ella is getting attached to him as quickly as I am.
    “ Will you come to my birthday?” Ella asks him.
    Liam rubs the back of his neck. “Umm. I don’t know. When is it?”
    “ June,” I say.
    He laughs. “I’d love to if I’m free.”
    This is going too far, he can ’t make promises like this to her. Liam doesn’t understand Ella’s black and white world.
    “ I think Liam might be busy. He doesn’t live in Wales and he might be working.”
    “ What day is your birthday?” he asks Ella, ignoring me.
    “ Tuesday?” She looks to me for confirmation.
    “ Liam, a four year old isn’t going to know her birth date. It’s June 10th.”
    “ Really?” He pushes Ella on the nose. “That’s why we’re friends! That’s my birthday, too!”
    “ Oh, so he’ll definitely be busy,” I say firmly.
    “ I might not be.”
    “ Liam, stop it,” I hiss. “Don’t make a promise you know you can’t keep.”
    “ Who says I won’t?”
    Ella looks between us and I recognise her expression, the one of concern she gets when I argue with her dad.
    I do the same as in those situations with her dad: “Ella, can you go inside now? It’s getting too cold.”
    “ But...”
    “ Ella.”
    She stomps through the snow toward the house and I glare at Liam. “This isn’t a game!”
    “ I’m not playing games!”
    “ You do know she’s expecting you at her birthday party now! She won’t forget.”
    “ And neither will I.”
    I make an exasperated noise. “Aren’t you touring in June?”
    Liam raises an eyebrow. “How do you know that?”
    I stare at the ground. “I just do.”
    “ So you are a Blue Phoenix fan still!”
    “ I always was.”
    “ I know; you told me in the kitchen the other night.” Liam’s mouth tugs up at one corner.
    Oh no . What did I say? “Yes.”
    He laughs. “You don’t remember?”
    “ I do,” I lie.
    “ I don’t think you do remember, otherwise you’d be blushing.”
    “ What? What did I do?”
    “ You didn’t do anything, but let’s just say I know who your favourite band member is.”
    The memory of the conversation filters in; how I practically threw myself at Liam and told him I had a crush on him. Is that what he ’s taking advantage of? Is that the reason for the games and the kisses?
    “ Ego, much?” I snap.
    “ Hey, I’m kidding. Why so uptight again?”
    “ You don’t get it. This is mine and Ella’s reality, Liam. You can come here, play in the snow, then fly back to your life of the rich and famous but our life isn’t like that. Don’t do this to Ella.” Or me.
    “ Do what? Have fun? Make her smile? Hell, I might even make you smile again if you let me!”
    “ I don’t have much to smile about, in case you hadn’t noticed.”
    I turn toward the house and Liam grabs my gloved hand, holding.
    “ Relax. Enjoy Christmas, even if you only do it for Ella.”
    “ You don’t understand.”
    “ I do, you’re hurt; but so am I, remember? So no, I won’t play games with you. But I also won’t stop myself being around people who make me forget the pain I left behind.”
    I lift my eyes to his, to the honesty in his face and the hidden hurt I know touches on mine.
    “Just don’t make her want you around when you’re going to leave her,” I say quietly, and we both know that I’m not talking about Ella.
     
    ****
     
    Ella’s attachment to Liam reflects the unhealthy one emerging from me because when he’s not around at her bed time, she gets grumpy and refuses to go to bed until she sees him. Maybe we’re both genetically programmed to fall in love with him. I shake myself. Fall in love? The teen crush I had on Liam lingers, and kissing him really didn’t help. Eventually, Ella realises pouting won’t bring Liam to her, so she stomps off to bed. I’m sure she picks the longest book