Free The Observations of a Curious Governess by Viveka Portman

In less than a month, I am changed. I am scarcely the same woman who left London on her first posting. My salary at Stanton was generous enough without any amoral supplement – but would I return the funds? Nay, I would not. I wished for my sisters’ happiness, and perhaps a little of my own. Mayhap with this increase in income, a future with Mr Reeves may not be so impossible after all.

Chapter 5
    Monday 22 nd June 1813
    This morning I was given my wages. These envelopes handed out by Mrs Roberts in the servants’ quarters – an area I seldom visit, but had been called to do so for this reason. I accepted the weighty envelope with thanks and returned to my rooms before breaking my fast. When I opened the envelope I was thrilled to count out the money there. It was, I confess, a significantly increased sum from my initial expectation.
    There was one awkwardness about it however. On my walk towards the grounds for my morning constitutional, Miller interrupted my thoughts. I confess, when I looked at her all I could see was her passion-slaked expression and her white thighs parted for the head of her mistress. Would that good Lord preserve me from such thoughts!
    ‘Good morning, Miss Swan,’ said she.
    ‘Good morning indeed, Miss Miller,’ was my reply.
    ‘Did you receive your wages?’ she asked without preamble. I watched her expression for any mal-intent but could not discern any.
    ‘I did,’ I replied.
    ‘The Stantons pay well for loyal, discreet servants,’ she said. There were no grounds on which I could disagree, so I smiled, ‘They certainly do, and I shall strive not to disappoint them.’
    Miller reciprocated the smile as a way of farewell, before I went for my walk, on which I hoped Mr Reeves may join me. I am uncertain of how much longer he will be in Stanton on business, but I hope he shall remain a few more days. There are matters which I wish to resolve, and have come to think that he may be the one to assist me to do so. I have been plagued with by the notion that as a spinster I shall never experience such things as my employers. I do not wish for sin, I do not wish for scandal, but I do not wish for a life half lived either.
    ***
    As I walked down the corridor, ever admiring the art, I was surprised to come across Lord and Lady Stanton. It was unusual to see them together beyond mealtimes. It struck me as unsurprising that they may well avoid each other – each harbouring such wicked secrets as they did. They did not seem to hear my approach, though I made no effort for silence.
    ‘What is vexing you so, William?’ Her Ladyship asked. ‘I have heard naught pleasant from your mouth in days.’
    I hesitated in my approach at the sharp tone of her voice.
    His Lordship signed and looked away. ‘Ah, but these tenants and this enclosure business – it tires me terribly. I’m grateful for Mr Reeves’ assistance of course, but he’s been called back to London.’
    My heart wilted. Had he already gone, then? Without a farewell?
    ‘Can you not find another manager to assist?’ Lady Stanton asked.
    ‘Oh he’s not gone yet, but still, enclosure seems a nasty business and likely to cause much dissent amongst the tenants. It effectively takes away the common grounds they use – and that upsets them, you know. So, I’d rather like him to stay a significant while longer.’
    Lord Stanton turned his head, suddenly aware that he and his wife were not alone as they had thought.
    ‘Miss Swan.’ He inclined his head, and a smile replaced his previous unhappy expression.
    ‘Good morning, Lord Stanton, Lady Stanton.’ I bobbed nervously, running a hand down my blue muslin dress.
    ‘Do you fare well this morning, Miss Swan?’ Lady Stanton asked with an arched brow.
    ‘Quite, I thank you.’
    There was a tedious silence.
    ‘And the children?’ Lord Stanton asked, ‘What shall they learn today. More Bible readings, perhaps?’ he added, with amusement tugging his lips.
    I blushed, remembering my