Free Man Candy by Melanie Harlow Page B

the table before grabbing her in a
    huge bear hug, leaning over, and
    smothering her face with my chest. “Is
    this excessive?”
    “Stop it!” She tried to get out of my
    arms, but I was much bigger and
    stronger. “I can’t even breathe!”
    “So this is excessive? That’s what
    you’re saying?” I released her. “OK,
    good to know.”
    “God, you’re such an asshole.” She
    moved away from me on the couch and
    smoothed her hair.
    “Just want to be clear.” I picked up
    my wine glass. “That one seemed a little
    vague. The rest I think I’ve got—you
    want to sleep alone, you don’t want to
    talk all the time, and you especially
    don’t want to talk about feelings.”
    “Right.”
    “So those are all the things we can’t
    do. What’s on the yes list?”
    She looked at me like I was crazy.
    “Sex. With a condom. For a limited
    time.”
    I nodded. “Got it. Sex with a condom
    but without feelings for a limited time.
    And what do you have against feelings
    exactly?”
    “Not all feelings,” she said
    defensively. “I like the guys I’ve been
    with. I just don’t get all gaga over them
    because it doesn’t last, and someone
    always gets hurt if they think it does.”
    “ ‘Always’ seems unduly harsh.”
    “I’ve never seen a truly happy
    marriage. Someone is always faking it or
    lying, or they’ve just settled into a
    comfortable pattern and don’t have any
    motivation to change things.”
    “What about your parents’
    marriage?”
    She made a face. “Please. I love my
    parents, but my dad has affairs and my
    mother looks the other way because
    she’s too obsessed with her job to care. I
    think she’s glad she doesn’t have to pay
    that kind of attention to him anymore.
    That’s not love.”
    I shrugged. “Love is different things
    to different people. Who are you to
    judge?”
    She sat up straighter. “I’m not
    passing judgment on anybody, nor
    would I want anyone to pass judgment
    on me. I’m just saying that the notion of
    true, everlasting love is a crock of shit,
    and people who believe otherwise are
    temporarily deluding themselves,
    blinded by desire, or just plain foolish.”
    “You’re right, you’re not at all
    judgy.”
    She pinned me with her favorite
    dirty look before taking a big swallow
    of wine.
    “What about Alex?” I challenged.
    “He’s in love. Which one is he?”
    She sighed, slumping against the
    back of the couch and staring into her
    glass. “Alex. I don’t know.”
    “He and Nolan seem pretty in love
    and have been for a long time. Is that a
    crock of shit?”
    “I will admit that Alex and Nolan
    have been together for years and seem
    genuinely passionate about each other.
    But I’ve never seen it last forever , OK?
    And everyone expects it to. I’m just
    being truthful.”
    “Being truthful,” I repeated. It’s
    being scared, is what it is. But I
    couldn’t say that to her. Not yet.
    “Yes,” she said stubbornly. “And no
    one can blame me for that.”
    “I’m curious.” I put my arm on the
    back of the couch behind her. “How
    does it usually go when you give the
    rules to guys who are interested in you?”
    She shrugged. “It goes fine. Some of
    them love it, actually. I think they’re
    relieved to meet a woman who’s not
    looking for a ring, just a good time and
    good manners. And if they don’t love it,
    well then… They can move on.”
    “And what happens if you actually
    fall in love with one of these well-
    mannered commitment-phobes?”
    She shook her head. “That will never
    happen. I’m smarter than that.”
    “But what if it did?” I pressed. “You
    can’t control your feelings. Even smart
    people fall in love.”
    “Then I’d break up with him.”
    “What? Why?”
    “Because it’s gonna end sooner or
    later, and I might as well be the one to
    do it,” she answered, as if it were
    obvious. “At least then I’d know when it
    was coming.”
    I shook my head. “Did you not get
    enough love as a