Free Silver Wedding by Maeve Binchy Page B

Mother so anxious to criticize, to find fault?
    But later, later Helen was to look at pictures of the face and wish that her own were like it, that she had hollows and soft golden skin instead of round cheeks and freckles. She would have killed to get that dark heavy hair she saw in the photographs, and weaf those loop earrings, which made Helen look like a tinker running away from an encampment, but made Renata Palazzo Quigley look glamorous as an exotic princess from a far land.
    'I came here because I heard that there is a Sister Brigid . . . I thought perhaps.. .' She faltered.
    'I suppose you could say I'm Sister Brigid's deputy,' Helen said. In ways it could be true. She was in charge of the house when they were all out, that could be considered being a deputy.
    'I'll be glad to do what I can.'
    Helen fought back the other thoughts in her mind. She simply closed a door on Renata's picture in a silver frame on a small table with a long white cloth reaching to the floor. She closed another door on Frank Quigley, her father's friend, with tears in his eyes. She tried to think only of this moment. A woman had come to St Martin's for help in some way, and Sister Brigid was out. Helen was in charge.
    'It's just that you're very young. ..' Renata was doubtful.
    Helen was reassuring. She had her hand on the kettle and paused to look at Renata.
    'No, no, I'm much more experienced than you think.'
    She felt a little light-headed. Could she really be saying these words to Frank Quigley's wife?
    It had been impossible in Rosemary Drive that time when Father had lost his job. Helen thought back on it and it flashed in front of her as if she were watching a video on that machine that she had got for St Martin's once because the company had assured her it was free for a month and there would be no obligation. It had all been very difficult, the business about the video, like everything.
    But nothing was as frightening as the time her father had left Palazzo. There was a council of war every night and Mother had warned them that they must tell nobody.
    'But why?' Helen had begged. She couldn't bear her sister and brother to accept that this was the way things should be from now on. 'Why does it have to be a secret? It's not Daddy's fault that they changed the place. He can get another job. Daddy can get any job.'
    She remembered still how Mother had snapped at her.
    'Your father doesn't want any job, he wants his job at Palazzo back. And he will have it back soon, so in the meantime nothing is to be said. Do you hear me, Helen? Outside this house not one word is to be said. Everyone is to think that your father is going to work as usual in Palazzo.'
    'But how will he earn money?' Helen had asked.
    It was a reasonable question. To this day she didn't regret it, like she sometimes regretted the things she had said, the offers she had made, the questions she had asked.
    Anna had said nothing, for an easy life she had explained.
    Brendan had said nothing because nothing was what Brendan always said.
    But Helen couldn't say nothing.
    She was sixteen years old, grown up, in her last year at school. She would not stay on and do A levels like Anna. Even though she felt she was twice as bright as Anna in many ways. No, Helen was going to see the world, try her hand at this and that, get on-the-job experience.
    She was so full of life, at sixteen some people thought she was years younger, a big schoolgirl. Other people thought she was years older, a lively student going on twenty.
    Frank Quigley had no idea how old she was the afternoon she went to see him in his office.
    The dragon woman Miss Clarke had protected him as she always had. Helen wondered could she possibly be there still? It was years ago. Surely she had given up hoping that Mr Quigley was going to look into her eyes and say that she was beautiful without her glasses?
    Helen had left her school blazer downstairs with the doorman, and had opened the top buttons of her school shirt in