Free Through The Pieces by Bobbi Jo Bentz Page A

present from Grandma and Papa?"
    She was off, digging through the gifts. "Is this it Mommy?" She tore at the wrapping paper. My parents sent Maggie a gift every year. They had retired three years ago to Arizona. I hadn't seen them in a year and half, and although I missed them dearly, they were planning a trip to Wisconsin in the summer. As the gift wrap went flying, Maggie squealed in delight. It was an iPad. Wow, better triple thank mom and dad!
    "Open yours, Mommy!" She handed me a gift from my parents. It was big and heavy, and when I got all the wrapping paper off, I looked down and almost cried. My parents truly got me. It was a new coffeemaker. I loved my parents--and coffee.
    "Don't cry Mommy."
    "I just really love coffee," I sniffled. Maggie, still unaware of the miracles of coffee, rolled her eyes. I signaled for her to keep opening gifts, as I took photo after photo. Before long, all the presents were open and the living room floor was knee-high in boxes and paper.
    Maggie was busy opening her toys, then looked up at me and dropped what she was doing. She climbed up next to me on the couch and snuggled in close. "Thank you Mommy. I love you."
    Goodness I loved this girl. I wrapped an arm around her and gave her a kiss on the head. "I love you, too."
    "Am I a bad person if I don't miss Dad?"
    "No, you could never be bad. You may do things in your life that may be the wrong choice, but you are good inside and out. As for not missing your Dad, do you know why you don't miss him?"
    "He scared me and he was mean to you."
    "Yes, he scared me, too. You know if you ever want to talk about it, I will always listen." A lump formed in my throat when I thought about the grief I was unable to spare her.
    "I know, Mommy. You tell me that all the time." Maggie flashed me her sweet smile, which morphed into a yawn.
    I returned her yawn. "How about we go cuddle in bed for a while, then I’ll make brunch and we’ll watch the movie."
    She eagerly agreed and I picked her up and carried her to my bed. We cuddled together, and before long she drifted off to sleep. I had a harder time trying to sleep as I thought about the things she had seen at her young age. Tears pricked my eyes. I didn't protect her enough.
    When Maggie awoke, I prepared the Christmas morning egg bake. This was a tradition started by my mother, and I wanted to pass it on to Maggie. I had just put it in the oven when Maggie walked in, looking much more refreshed. She helped me with the fruit pizza and breakfast punch, which was a combination of orange juice and clear soda.
    "Maggie, I am going to take a quick shower, okay?"
    "But Mommy, we always wear pajamas on Christmas!" she protested.
    I looked down at my white tank and pajama bottoms with candy canes imprinted on them. She was right. If Buck didn't like it, that was too bad. I was tired of living my life to please someone else. I was just going to be me from now on.
    I smiled at her and responded, "You're right, Maggie."
    "I'm going to check out my new toys." She skipped to the living room and was soon playing happily.
    I went to the bathroom to freshen up. I would keep my candy cane pajamas on, but I could at least wipe the dried drool mark off my cheek. I washed my face, ran a brush through my hair, and put it up in a messy bun again. Back in the living room, I was picking up the wrapping paper still littering the floor, when a knock sounded on the door. I opened it to find Buck smiling down at me, his forearm against the door frame, looking breathtaking as usual. My face flamed at the sight of him.
    "Merry Christmas, Claire."
    "Merry Christmas, Buck." I waved him inside
    He drew in a deep breath. "Something smells delicious."
    Maggie ran over to him, excited. "Buck! Merry Christmas! Do you want to see my presents?"
    "I will in a minute, but right now I need your Mom's help with some gifts in the car."
    Maggie got quiet at this and nodded in agreement, as if to say “Go ahead.” I was excited to give her the