Free Forgiven by J. B. McGee

heel and walks away.

As I walk back out of the hospital, I know I can’t really blame Bradley for wanting to be there, but it was so hard to step into that building and peek into that room to see him with another woman, a pregnant woman. I’m already struggling with school. His mom is already drilling me with wedding planning. I mean, in a way I love that Holly has embraced me and we’re already so close, but on the other hand, I am so swamped with school. I’m finding it exceptionally hard to focus. To say I feel overwhelmed is putting it mildly.
    I unlock and open my car door, put my seat belt on and look over my shoulder to back up as I start the ignition and put it into gear. Time alone in the car may be just what I need to decompress my thoughts. I knew that this would be tough with Veronica, but I also thought that we’d be able to quickly check paternity and put it behind us. I briefly thought about what it would be like if the baby was really Bradley’s, but he was so sure it wasn’t that it was hard for me to consider anything other than it not being his. This entire situation seems to be unraveling and becoming more and more out of control by the day. I don’t know if it’s this, or a combination of things, but I have been really moody. I feel bad about it, but I can’t help it.
    I do love him. I can’t imagine being without him. I just wasn’t ready for all of this grown-up drama. I’m still in college, and I’m planning a wedding and dealing with a potential Baby Mama. There is just something wrong about that. I decide that now would be a good time to try to call Sam. That’s another thing. Being away from my two best friends, Sam and John, has been harder than I thought. It’s only been a week and I find that I’m almost home sick, but which home? Charleston or Columbia? And how can I be homesick when I know my home is wherever Bradley is?
    I dial Sam’s number. I need to try to talk to her if I can. Besides, she may be able to help me understand this whole placenta thing with Veronica. I press the voice command button on the touch screen of my phone. “Call Sam.”
    I am disappointed when it goes to voicemail. Even though I hate talking to machines or voicemails, I decide I’ll leave her a message. I smile as I listen to her bubbly voice saying, “Hi. It’s Sam. You know you wanna leave a message after the beep.”
    She’s been so busy with school that it’s been nearly impossible for us to find time to talk. I should have known that calling her during the day was a waste. I know that this message is directed to me. She knows I rarely leave a voicemail. “Sam. It’s me.” I pause a minute. I’m not good at talking to silence. “I was just missing my big sister. Are you going to be able to help me move this weekend?” A tear forms and escapes, falling down my cheek. “Just call me back when you get this. Love you.”
    I press the red square to end the call and swipe the tear. I don’t know why I’m so emotional all of the sudden. I reassure myself. Who wouldn’t be emotional with all of the life changes that have happened in the last week? I went from everything being peachy, to things being horrendous, back to beyond incredible, and now I feel like the rug is being slowly pulled out from underneath us again. To say it’s been a rollercoaster would be an epic understatement.

    I must have dozed off on the couch studying when I got home. When I squint my eyes open, I see my reflection through blazing blue eyes. My body is limp in the very capable arms of Bradley. He turns his head to the side a little and smiles. “Go back to sleep. Just moving you to the bed.”
    I want to talk to him. I want to look at him longer, but I can barely keep my eyes open. I nod and close them back. I’m in that awesome in between sleep. That sleep where you can hear and feel things, but you’re so tired you couldn’t care less about what they are saying or doing to you. He unbuttons my jeans and