Didn't you see what happened?”
“ Look, I can tell you what happened. What she was doing, what I was doing. What she said and what I had said. I can even tell you what I was eating for crying out loud, but everything that I would tell you are already in the files that you've read through.” I gestured to the files that were stacked neatly on top of his desk.
“ You're right, these files told me everything, except for the most important part. They won't tell me how your break in friendship with Rebecca started. They didn't tell me how you felt when everything happened, or even how you felt before and after everything happened.”
“ How will that help anything?” I rubbed my hand slowly across my forehead, already weary of this discussion.
“ You'd be surprised. So, how did you and Rebecca become friends?”
“ Do I have to do this?” I looked at him hopefully, praying for some mercy. But by the determined look in his eyes I knew that there was no turning back. I wouldn't be able to get out of this. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for the onslaught of breaking open fresh wounds.
“ Fine. Rebecca and I became friends in elementary school.”
“ That young huh? What made you decide to be her friend?”
I smiled from the memory, it was one of the few good ones I had left. “It was the shirt she was wearing. If you've noticed, I have a tendency to dress in dark colors. Becca was the only girl besides me who wore a black shirt to school that first day, but instead of hers having a hot pink bunny on it, she had a neon blue bunny. We hated each other on sight. During that first day, we didn't talk to each other at all, just kept glaring at each other and making small little comments about whose shirt was better. At the end of the week, we finally had enough and fought it out. Ever since that fight, we were inseparable.” My smile fell as my mind started focusing on everything else that happened.
“ So you were happy with her as your friend.”
“ Yeah, she was like a sister to me. I loved her more than anything and trusted her completely.”
“ When did your friendship start to fall apart?”
“ Freshman year. She wanted us to keep being the same, experiencing the same things. I wasn't ready for a lot of what she wanted us to do.”
“ What was it she wanted you guys to do?”
I started to panic. I'd never told anyone the entire truth before. No one would have believed me and while I doubted James would I still didn't feel comfortable revealing everything after so many years of lying. Frantic, I looked around for an escape. Seeing the time I breathed a sigh of relief and stood up quickly. “Well, look at the time. Our sessions over. Same time next week?” I left before he could say anything. Mom had already drilled the time into me, so his assent wasn't needed. I was proud of myself. For once I started talking about Rebecca without the darkness taking over. Maybe this was a sign that things would get better.
C hapter Eight
Bleary eyed, I felt around my nightstand, trying to find the evil alarm of doom. When I found the nefarious box I started slapping at it blindly, hoping to shut it up. I scooted closer to the nightstand and began hitting it with my fist. “Ugh— just shut up!” I grabbed the cord and yanked on it until it popped free of its outlet, filling the room with blissful silence. I threw the offensive clock to the ground then rolled onto my back and blinked at the ceiling.
As my eyes came slowly into focus I was tempted to bury myself under the comforter and go back to sleep, but I made the mistake of looking at the time on my cell phone. “Shit.” I jumped out of bed and tripped over the alarm clock. I sent a mental death threat its way as I rushed through my morning routine.
Mom was waiting by the door with my car keys and a to-go cup of coffee as I ran up the stairs. I mumbled a thanks as I grabbed the items and headed out to my first day of