Free Treasures of Time by Penelope Lively Page A

lack of dependants. Laura, similarly endowed, had got through the lot long ago.
    Things are not so bad, she thought, there is worse, there is far worse. And she began once more to write to the old colleague, a cheerful, chatty letter, relating what was of interest or amusing, omitting much.

    Laura said, ‘We adored each other, of course.’ She had had two glasses of sherry; she felt confidential, and melancholy in a rather agreeable way. ‘I was awfully young when we were married, just a girl really, Hugh was quite a bit older than me.’
    Barbara Hamilton nodded understandingly. ‘I do so wish we’d known him. I just have that feeling we’d have got on so well.’
    Laura hesitated. ‘Well, yes. Of course, Hugh had that impatient streak to him, it came of being half Welsh. I must admit he could be rude to people.’
    Barbara said, ‘I think really clever men, really exceptional people, are allowed that, don’t you? They just are on a slightly different plane. We knew Willie Maugham rather well and one always felt that about him.’
    One slightly tiresome thing about Barbara was the way she would keep mentioning important or interesting people she knew or had known, who were often as, if not more, important and interesting than the people one knew or had known oneself. Laura said, ‘Mmn, I s’pose so.’ Barbara’s husband was probably going to be made a Sir before he retired, it was hinted. Laura finished her third sherry and went on, ‘Of course, being with someone like that all one’s life one comes to feel that it’s nothing unusual.’
    Barbara said, ‘And with him doing such a fascinating subject you must have been awfully tempted to get involved yourself.’
    ‘I always felt strongly,’ said Laura, ‘that he needed a background where he could be quite private, detach himself from work when he wanted to, get away from it all. I don’t think it would have helped at all for me to be involved too. Unfortunately, my sister rather… Hugh always felt it was a very good thing I wasn’t all that involved in archaeology, I mean, quite interested enough to know what was going on, but not immersed, if you see what I mean.’
    ‘Oh, quite,’ said Barbara.

    He is being quite unreasonable, he is in one of his beastly Welsh tempers, I won’t stand for it, why should I? It is always what he is doing that has to come first, I am never thought of, I can be left at Danehurst for weeks on end while he is off somewhere.
    We shout at each other. I shout about being left on my own at Danehurst and about going always by myself to dinners and things that he says bore him. I shout about not having holidays abroad like other people. I shout about money.
    And he shouts back, horrid unfair things that I don’t want to remember. I can only hear his voice, with that hard angry edge to it, and see his face, looking at me as though I were someone he did not know. I feel sick to my stomach; it is like being afraid; is it that I am afraid?
    I do care about his work. I do take the trouble to find out what he is doing. I know I could have gone to Spain with him.
    All right, then, I shout, what did you ask me to marry you for, then? You should have married Nellie, if that’s the sort of wife you wanted.
    He turns his back on me and goes out of the room.
    I sit there and look at the shut door and I feel scared. And lonely. Perhaps I should not have said that. But it is true, and in any case…
    Presently the scared feeling goes away. In any case, I know why he married me, and why he did not marry Nellie, never would have done. And later, in bed, I will be able to make it all right again, like I always can when I want to. Maybe in the end I will even be able to make him come to the Sadlers’ dinner with me.

    Tom said, ‘You were pretty short with Tony Greenway.’
    ‘I didn’t like him.’
    ‘That was apparent.’
    ‘Oh dear,’ said Kate, stricken, ‘do you think he realized?’
    ‘No. And if he did, I should imagine