Free June (Calendar Girl #6) by Audrey Carlan

grandfather, who uses the phrase hide the pickle, and has a ridiculously active sex life with an old guy…Yes, yes I do believe I wanted to know her secrets. I was certain they were going to blow me into next week.
    Christine leaned close to my ear. “We’re expecting our first baby.”
    You know that moment in the cartoon where Yosemite Sam blows his top and smoke comes out of his ears? I felt like that happened to me on hearing she was pregnant by a guy three times her age. It started with a buzzing sensation and the need to sit down. Once settled, she felt my head.
    “You’re a little warm, Mia.” She offered looking absolutely concerned for my welfare.
    “Maybe you can lead me to the rest room and we can chat there.” I needed to get this hot tamale alone. Her husband owned the shipping company Warren needed to transport goods to the UK. I took it upon myself to help make that happen. If befriending the pregnant wife was going to help, I’d take one for the team. Besides, she was really nice—if a little misguided.
     
    ***
    “So you see, these vaccines and medicines are going to save countless lives.”
    Christine gasped, her hand going over her still flat stomach. “My goodness. We have to help!” she said with conviction. I nodded.
    “Well, maybe you could put in a good word for Warren with Frances?” I suggested thinking that was the best way.
    She shook her head. “Oh no, I’m going to do better than that. She pulled out a cellphone from her purse, clicked a few buttons then held it up to her ear. “Franny Snookums…” she giggled. “Sure I’m always ready for your big cock, baby, you know that.” The thought of her getting plowed by the old guy made my mouth sour, the same way it does right before you vomit. “Oh I know snookums, I want it hard too. Real hard. So hard my teeth rattle, but I need to talk to you about something.”
    I waited while she shared pretty much everything that I’d shared about Warren’s project and how they could help. “Yeah snookums, we’ll make it this year’s charitable contribution, and I can even run up a campaign about the good work we’re going to do with Shipley Inc.” She said another few “uh huhs” and “mmm hmms” then turned to the side. Her hand slid from her neck down to her breast where she cupped it boldly. “Yeah, they need to be squeezed. Thinking about you fucking me here, right now is making me super needy. Can you come down and lick me? The baby is making me so horny. I know you already fucked me twice today--” she sighed and then whined, “--but I need your mouth this time...” she practically jumped up and down and clapped. “Okay Franny, I’ll be in the ladies, wet and ready. Don’t keep me waiting or I’ll start playing without you.”
    Then she snapped off the phone. Her chest was heaving. “We’re totally going to do the shipments for the Shipleys.” I wanted to jump up and down and celebrate but she started grabbing at her boobs in a brazenly wanton way. “You into threesomes?” she asked distractedly. “Franny loves when we add another one of my friends. Fucks us both really good, and I’m okay with sharing as long as it’s not in my marital bed. That’s just for us.”
    I opened and closed my mouth almost as if I couldn’t catch my breath. I really couldn’t breathe. The images that were jumping all over each other as I tried to process what she’d said. Christine just propositioned me for a threesome with her husband. Her old, granddaddy-like husband in a ladies bathroom. I shook my head. “Um, nope but I’m really excited about telling my own uh, Daddy, about the Benoit’s involvement.”
    “Cool.” And that’s when she put a finger to each strap of her already miniscule dress and let it drop to the floor standing in nothing but a tiny red thong. Absolutely nothing but a thong. What the fuck? I turned around to give her some privacy at the exact moment that old man Francis Benoit entered.
    “You