Free Incredible Beauty by Missy Johnson Page B

I find reassuring. I hear footsteps and the voices of the doctor and Simon. I strain to listen to what they are saying but all I catch are odd words.
    Baby. Surgery. Coma. Embolism.
    Those four words make me wish I couldn't hear. Would this be better if I just went to sleep and woke up when I came out of this coma, or whatever it was? Or didn't?
    "Her vitals are stable, I've been giving regular IV fluid and pain relief," Lucy says, now sounding like she's standing at the foot of the bed, or at least no longer next to me.
    "Good. Well, we just wait. I want hourly fetal heart readings and let me know if there are any changes. If we can keep her in there for another week, she’ll have the best chance, then I think the best option will be to get her out. The less stress on Emma, the better her chances at recovery are. Any change I want to know about, okay?" he says clearly.
    The doctor's words leave me feeling a mix of joy and sadness.
    He’d said ‘her’ as in a girl.
    My little girl. I'm going to have a daughter. Pride swells inside of me like a giant wave running onto a sandy shore, but along with the joy, I feel anger. Anger that I can't remember what came before this and that I can’t be there for Simon. Just the thought of how hard this must be for him makes me want to cry.
    Simon’s hand encases mine again and I instantly feel my body relax.
    “We’re having a little girl, Em, just like you said. I should’ve let you buy the pink paint after all,” he chuckles sadly. I want to laugh as I remember our little argument in the paint store. “You have to hold on, okay? I’m not doing this without you.”
    All I want to do is comfort him and it’s hell knowing that I can’t. The feeling of helplessness is torture and I vow to do all I can to be there for him in the future.
     

Chapter Fourteen
    Simon
    I slammed the front door closed, with much more force than was necessary in a bid to let some of my anger out. I'd only agreed to leave her side because the doctors thought having some familiar things around her might help. I’d agreed to drive home, get some sleep and come back with some of her things.
    Only there was no way I was going to sleep. And I wasn’t stupid enough to drive on no sleep, so I’d already ordered the cab.
    A coma. How the fuck did this happen? I knew things were going too well, I fucking knew it. I unbuttoned my shirt and discarded it on the floor. I probably needed a shower, but I didn’t have time. I grabbed a clean tee shirt and slid it over my head, pulling it down over my chest. Next, I loosened my pants, stepping out of them as they fell to the ground. I shuffled through the clean laundry in the dryer and retrieved a clean pair of boxers and jeans.
    The ‘what ifs’ and maybes are tearing me apart. I couldn’t turn off my brain and all it wanted to do was run through all the possible ways I might have avoided this from happening. If only I hadn't have been away from home for so long then maybe we could have caught this before it got this far.
    If only, if only, if only!
    At least they had a better idea of what they were dealing with now. Technically speaking, Em had suffered a stroke after a small clot had broken off in her stomach and travelled to her brain where it burst. Although the clot was only a small one, there was another much bigger clot sitting in her left temporal lobe, just waiting, like a ticking time bomb. Her body was so weak from the effects of the pregnancy that it had basically just begun to shut down. Until she had more strength surgery wasn’t an option.
    With bean still inside of her, surgery wasn’t an option, but delivering the baby this early placed her in danger. They had wanted me to consent to delivering the baby tonight, to give Em the best chance of surviving. And of course I’d said yes because losing Em was not an option. They told me there was a good chance if the baby stayed inside I could lose her too, but that didn’t make me feel any less