Free Oh-So-Sensible Secretary by Jessica Hart Page B

anyway?’ he said. ‘Do you want me to go and kill him for you? Would that help?’
    ‘I don’t think Lex would be very pleased if you did.’ I sniffed into the napkin. ‘He’d have to find a new PR person.’
    Phin’s brows crawled up to his hairline. ‘Are we talking about Jonathan Pugh ?’
    I could see him trying to picture Jonathan’s appeal. I know Jonathan isn’t the sexiest looking guy in the world, but it was about more than looks.
    ‘Jonathan’s everything I ever wanted,’ I told him tearfully. ‘He’s a bit older than me, I know, but he’s so steady, so reliable. He seems reserved, but I always had the feeling that he’d be different in private, and he is. I never thought I’d have a chance with him, but then there was the summer party…’
    I’ll never forget my starry-eyed amazement when Jonathan came over to talk to me, and suggested going for a quiet drink away from all the noise. I’d been bedazzled by all my dreams coming true at once.
    ‘I was so happy just to be with him,’ I told Phin. Now I’d started talking, it was as if I couldn’t stop. I had to blurt it all out. I gulped at my martini. ‘I’d never been in love before, not like that, and when I was with him it felt like I had everything I’d ever wanted. I didn’t mind that he wanted to keep our relationship a secret—to me that was just him being sensible, and I loved him for that, too. But he’s not being sensible with Lori,’ I said bitterly. ‘He’s not keeping her a secret. He doesn’t care who knows how he feels about her.’
    My mouth began to tremble wildly again. ‘It wasn’t that hedidn’t want to have a proper relationship. He just didn’t want me . He wanted someone like Lori, who’s pretty and feminine.’
    ‘I bet she isn’t prettier than you,’ said Phin.
    ‘She is. If you saw her, you’d know.’
    I’d never liked Lori. She’s the kind of woman who gives the impression of being frail and shy and helpless, but who always manages to get her own way. Men hang around, asking her if she’s all right the whole time. As far as I knew Lori had no female friends—always a bad sign, in my opinion—but even I had to admit she was very pretty. She was tiny, with a tumble of blonde curls, huge blue eyes and a soft, breathy little voice.
    Phin wouldn’t be able to resist her any more than Jonathan had.
    ‘OK, maybe she’s pretty,’ Phin allowed, ‘but you’re beautiful , Summer.’
    ‘I’m not.’ I blew my nose on the napkin. ‘I’m ordinary. I know that.’
    He laughed at that. ‘You are so not ordinary, Summer! You’ve got fantastic bones and beautiful skin and your eyes are incredible. And don’t get me started on your mouth…Your trouble is that you don’t make the most of yourself.’
    ‘I do,’ I protested, still tearfully. ‘Look at me.’ I gestured down at my suit. Even in the depths of my misery I knew it was better not to draw attention to my face right then. I’m not a pretty crier. Maybe the likes of Lori can cry without their skin going blotchy and their eyes puffy and their nose running, but I couldn’t. ‘I always take trouble over my clothes,’ I pointed out. ‘I never go out without make-up. What more can I do?’
    ‘You could let your hair down sometimes,’ said Phin, lifting a hand as if to touch it, but changing his mind at the last minute. ‘It looks as if it would be beautiful, thick and silky. It would make you look more…’ he searched for the rightword ‘…accessible,’ he decided in the end, and I remembered what Anne had said about changing my image by letting my hair hang loose.
    But what difference would it have made? ‘What’s the point in looking accessible when I’m boring?’ I asked despairingly. ‘Jonathan still wouldn’t want me.’
    ‘He must have wanted you at some point or he wouldn’t have got involved with you in first place.’
    ‘No, he didn’t.’ I was just starting to accept the truth. ‘I flung myself at him,