Free Everything I Shouldn't / Everything I Need by Stacey Mosteller

"Really?"
    I am a fucking asshole, and I'm going straight to hell for saying it, but I can't tell Mel how I feel about this little slip of a girl. She would never forgive me. "Promise," I tell her, trying to make my smile look genuine, even though I am sure I failed.
    She lets it go and when I chance a look back SarahBeth is talking to her brother, not paying Mel and I a bit of attention. I am relieved she didn't to hear me lie about my feelings. The last thing I ever want to do is hurt her, especially when I know she has a harmless crush on me. Ruining her graduation day with my careless words would've been unforgivable.
    Melanie and I are quiet during the remainder of the walk to my car and when I open the door so she could get in, she lifts a hand to my face. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Jer. It's just...I saw your face when you were holding her and you certainly didn't look like you felt brotherly towards her. I don't want to be wasting my time if you're pining over someone else." She looks nervous; like she's worried I'm going to take back what I said originally. But I won't. I can't put how I feel about SarahBeth into words for her.
    "Babe, I'm not sure what you think you saw, but believe me when I say that nothing would ever happen between SB and I." My voice is tense, hard and unyielding. My expression must match it because Mel quickly backs down.
    As she gives me a quick peck on the lips, she murmurs, "I believe you." Then, with an uneasy smile, she lets me help her in before I walk around to my side; we grab a bite to eat before I drop her off at work. I am meeting everyone else for SarahBeth's graduation dinner.
    Unfortunately, that isn't the last time Mel had cause to doubt either my relationship with SarahBeth or my feelings for her. No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to stay away from her. There's just something about her that draws me in... that keeps me coming back for even the smallest bit of her affection and attention. I am pretty sure she is trying to kill me.
    As I wait for SB to text me back to tell me she's coming out of the party, so I don't have to march in there like her father and drag her ass out, I am thinking about what brought us to this point.
    It's the night David and I both abandon SarahBeth, leaving her alone for over an hour before I find out that not only have I left her hanging with no plans for dinner, but so has her brother. When he calls me to make sure she's okay with the fact that he can't be there, man, I just lose it. By the time he gets home, SarahBeth has gone to bed without eating, and I'm more than half drunk. David makes it a point to be home with her most evenings, doing all the things with her that I did before Mel.
    It's no surprise the summer after her freshman year of college that he wants to keep her close, still trying to make up for all the time he's lost because he was stuck in his own head after his parents died. In an effort to keep her in town and away from unsupervised summer parties, he urges her to plan a pool party for July fourth. She eagerly agrees, having Olivia help her plan it and decide who to invite. David gives her carte blanche, he doesn't ask anything about what she's planning, and gives her whatever she needs to make sure she gets the party she wants.
    SarahBeth and Olivia spend the morning of the party directing Olivia's boyfriend Emmett and a few of his friends around, making sure they had everything just the way they want while David and I watch from the kitchen window. Chuckling, David turns to me, "Damn, she looks so much like mom right now."
    I agree. SarahBeth is standing on the patio surrounding the pool in a bright yellow t-shirt and a pair of bib overalls that barely cover her ass, her hands on her tiny hips while she bosses around a group of guys who all tower over her, Olivia at her side. The sight of her has my cock stirring in my shorts, something that is extremely uncomfortable, especially with her brother standing right