Free How Not to Shop by Carmen Reid Page A

assortment of anoraks in, yes, beige and pastel colours, that wouldn't have looked out of place on a mountain. In fact, if she had been a mountaineer they would have been fine, but for everyday London life they were . . . wrong!
     
'Look around you, try and enjoy the experience. This is called shopping,' Annie was playfully encouraging her. 'If you see a window display you like the look of, let me know, we'll stop and we'll explore. There is no panic, we've got the whole day,' she soothed. 'And a whole day to buy one outfit is a luxury, believe me.
     
'The only rule,' Annie went on, 'the one thing I'm insisting on, Cath, is that you buy only things that you love. I quite like it, this will do, this is so practical . . . no, no, we're not having any of that. If you don't love it . . . if it doesn't make your heart beat faster, then we're not going to bother. OK?'
     
'How's your son?' she asked, hoping a little bit of cheerful chat would put Cath more at ease.
     
'Fine. He keeps asking me when I'm going to get my party dress, as if I'm Cinderella or something . . .' There was note of despondency to this which Annie wanted to nip in the bud.
     
'You are!' Annie insisted, 'and I'm your fairy godmother, so you better start believing in me or I'm going to disappear.'
     
Spotting one of the funky shoe shops she knew Lana shopped in regularly, Annie steered Cath towards the front door: 'Now,' she began, 'every Cinderella has to have a wonderful shoe.' Annie knew that shoes didn't let you down the way clothes did. You never changed shoe size; shoes never made you look fat. They were a great place for insecure novice shoppers to start.
     
Cath was sent to look around the shop as both the camera and Annie studied her closely for her reactions.
     
'Just don't get so in her face!' Annie hissed at Bob. 'How is she ever going to relax and get into this if you're shadowing her every move?'
     
'I don't want to miss anything,' Bob defended himself.
     
'You won't. And if you do, I will personally bribe her to re-stage it,' came Annie's reply.
     
'Ah, can't do that!' Bob wagged a finger at her. 'It's never as convincing as the first time.'
     
'Oh rubbish,' she argued, 'I bet you do it all the time.'
     
Annie turned her attention back to Cath. She was wandering through the shop, looking at the shoes in confusion. There were all sorts of new colours, shapes, heels and designs here. Everything was obviously so different from the last time Cath had gone shoe shopping with nothing but price and practicality on her mind.
     
'Keep looking,' Annie urged, 'there will be something you like here. Really, just let me know if anything catches your eye, because then we can get a clue as to what kind of things you're into. Your love muscle,' she added with a cheeky wink, 'it's all about building up your love muscle. It's obviously not had nearly enough exercise lately.'
     
Even Cath had to giggle at this.
     
Three-quarters of the way through Cath's third tour of the shop and Annie saw it – Cath reached up and from a display high above the shop floor she brought down a pair of cherry red, patent leather loafers.
     
She watched Cath turn the loafers over in her hands, with a pleased fascination on her face.
     
Quickly Annie turned to the shop assistant hovering by her side, eager to appear on television. 'OK, I need the red loafers in a size six and everything else you've got in red patent in that size.'
     
After only a little arm-twisting, Annie had Cath striding up and down the shop in the loafers, a look of obvious satisfaction on her face.
     
'OK, we're taking them,' Annie told her.
     
'No!' Cath protested, 'I've got nothing to wear with them.'
     
'We'll go and find you a snazzy little red jacket and maybe a red bag. Maybe a shiny red, waterproof, non-anorak coat. Don't you love them?' Annie had to ask.
     
'Yes,' Cath confessed shyly.
     
'Well then. You're having them. That's final.' Annie had long ago forgotten all about the camera