Free Shopping With the Enemy by Carmen Reid

Champagne is wonderful for nerves.’
    So here they were in Milan airport, where bright sunshine sliced through the windows, promising a beautiful day outside.
    ‘It’s summer!’ Annie declared with surprise. May had been so gloomy in London, she’d almost forgotten.
    She trailed in Svetlana’s Missoni clad, Bvlgari sparkling, Annick Goutal scented wake and even pulled Svetlana’s matching, wheeled luggage alongside hers.
    ‘Hermès?’ Annie had asked appreciatively when the bags appeared first, of course, ahead of the queue, alongside her slightly more practical Samsonite.
    ‘Yah,’ Svetlana had confirmed, ‘Louis Vuitton is vulgar. For footballers and Russians.’
    They began to walk towards the hotel’s car, identifiable by the hotel crest emblazoned on the doors. A smiling, uniformed chauffeur with white gloves and a peaked cap was approaching them, eager to relieve them of their luggage.
    ‘Is this a Rolls-Royce?’ Annie asked.
    ‘No. Much better. Is a Bentley, like my car,’ Svetlana assured her, ‘but this one is vintage.’
    ‘The hotel’s
Bentley
…’ Annie was very impressed as the door was opened and she slid into the deep, leathery comfort of the back seat. In front of them was a fold-down table set with crystal glasses, bottles of champagne and sparkling water.
    ‘But now, no more champagne,’ Svetlana instructed. ‘Is best to begin the spa programme from the moment we enter the car.’
    ‘The spa programme?’
    ‘Five days of very pure, very clean living, Annah.’
    Suddenly Annie felt a twinge of doubt. This was going to be a luxurious, pampering mini-break, wasn’t it? There wasn’t any chance that Svetlana had signed her up for some kind of military fitness boot camp, was there?
    No, she smiled at the thought. Boot camps wouldn’t have crystal glasses and Bentleys.
    But then again, Svetlana’s figure was flawless, Svetlana’s exercise regime was relentless, Svetlana’s beauty drills were not for the faint-hearted. Svetlana looked astonishingly good because she worked at it every waking moment.
    Her idea of ‘pampering’ might be very different from Annie’s.
    ‘This spa’s programme is legendary,’ Svetlana began, settling back in her seat, ‘one of Europe’s best-kept beauty secrets. Every famous, beautiful woman in the world comes here once or twice a year. Here they can take 10 kilos from you in five days and ten years from your face at the same time. It is truly astonishing. One of my secrets.’
    ‘Really? You do know how much I appreciate you taking me with you?’ Annie said, although she had already thanked Svetlana at least one hundred times. ‘
Ten
kilos in
five
days?
Really?!
Do you think they could do that for me?’
    ‘If you stick with the programme,’ Svetlana assured her, ‘the whole programme.’
    Annie might have heard something of a warning in those words if she hadn’t been in such a frenzy of excitement.
    ‘Ten kilos?!’ she repeated. ‘Isn’t that even more than 20 pounds?’
    ‘Twenty-two pounds,’ Svetlana confirmed.
    ‘In five days?!’
    Annie looked down at her baby bulge, or should that now be her toddler tum?
    ‘If they can get rid of this in five days, it will be a blinking miracle. The Pope will have to be informed. He’ll have to make the programme director a saint or something.’
    Svetlana smiled: ‘They will try everything they can for you.’
    ‘So what does the programme involve?’ Annie asked, pouring out two glasses of water.
    ‘The spa gives you a total detox. They serve a pure, clean diet that will make you thin and make you glow. You will be clean from the inside out. You will love it.’
    ‘Right.’ Annie sank back into her seat. A total detox … well, that didn’t sound so bad. She’d detoxed before. It was all about dairy-free, wheat-free, sugar-free stuff. Eating quinoa, rice and vegetables for a few days, that couldn’t really hurt anyone, could it? Plus, she knew it was what she really