something?”
“ Well, I wanted to say I
was sorry to hitting your fiancé. That was
unacceptable.”
“ Agreed.”
“ But I did not like the way he
spoke to you.”
“ It’s none of your
business, Fitz,” she whispered, realizing that they’d changed
course at some point, crossing the back lawn so that they weren’t
headed toward the tennis courts anymore. They were headed toward
the pool. She inhaled raggedly, pulling her upper lip between her
teeth. She looked back at the house, knowing she should turn and
head up the hill to their waiting families, but the truth was, she
treasured these moments alone with Fitz. She didn’t want to go back
yet.
“ Are you happy?” he asked
quietly.
She swallowed. “Does it
matter?”
“ To me, it
does.”
Her heart caught, the old impulse to
look beyond the words to find meaning behind them making her
breathless for a moment.
“ Why?”
“ We’re almost at the pool,”
he observed offhandedly, his arm brushing hers again.
“ Why, Fitz? Why does it
matter to you if I’m happy?”
She didn’t know what she was doing.
She had no business opening this can of worms. She was supposed to
be engaged. But, maybe that’s what gave her the courage. From
outward appearances, she had no designs on him. It made her feel
safer.
At the split rail fence that
surrounded the pool, Fitz rested his elbows, looking at the dark
green plastic cover over the rectangular pool. Pool chairs were
neatly lined up in the corner of the deck waiting for sunny days to
arrive again. The sun was getting lower in the sky, and the deep,
honey light bounced off his hair, making it look like woven
gold.
“ Because I took happiness
away from you,” he said softly. “Because you trusted me and I let
you down. Because you deserve to be happy.”
He was trying to be kind, but his
words hurt her. She wanted him to say “Because I loved you then,
and I love you now, and the only way we can be happy is if we’re
together.” Sadly, his words had only voiced his regret and his
responsibility to her. But the burst of pain somehow made her feel
stronger and more determined. She looked down at the rough-hewn
rails—at her small, very white, fingers next to his tan arm that
was lightly sprinkled with coarse blond hair. Inside her chest, her
heart had so much love for him that it twisted with sadness, but
her mind was clear.
“ I’m happy enough,” she
answered curtly. “You don’t need to worry.”
He turned his head as she looked at
him, and it occurred to her that they were lined up perfectly to
kiss. All he’d need to do was drop his lips and they’d fall on
hers. She stared at his mouth for a long moment, remembering the
firmness and softness of his kiss, the way he moved his lips over
hers insistently, hungrily. When she looked back to his eyes, there
was almost no blue left except for thin rings of aqua around pools
of obsidian. Her chest heaved from the heaviness of her breathing,
and she dropped her gaze quickly to his lips then back to his eyes,
begging him to do something that they both knew he shouldn’t
do.
***
Her upturned face was so
sad when she said “happy enough” that he didn’t believe her and
despite her reassurance, he was worried. But he’d forgotten about
everything—their conversation, the bakery he needed to tell her
about, his apology, her happiness—when she’d trained her eyes on
his lips and lingered there. She stared at him like she was
remembering every time he’d pressed his mouth to hers, every time
his tongue had claimed hers, sucking and sliding over hers because
he could never, ever get enough of her. His body tightened next to
her, leaning against the fence, so close to the pool where she’d
given herself to him once upon a time.
Her scumbag fiancé had left
her in Philly alone and right now, right here, Daisy was with him.
Standing beside him , with her small, perfect breasts straining against her pink,
scoop neck shirt. Alex’s words came