Free Lost & Found by Kelly Jamieson Page A

believe that?”
    “It seems so soon.” Krissa’s eyes fell to the baby and she watched Cam switch breasts.
    “I’m still breastfeeding,” Cam said unnecessarily. “How am I supposed to work full time?”
    “It can be done.”
    Cam sent her another what-the-hell-do-you-know-about-it look.
    “So quit,” Krissa said.
    “I can’t quit. I’m the alpha earner.”
    “Huh?”
    Cam laughed humorlessly. “I make way more money than Eric. We can’t afford for me to quit.”
    “Would you? If you could?”
    “In a heartbeat.” Cam’s gaze returned to her baby’s face. Emma’s eyelids had drifted shut but still she suckled. Cam blinked. “But that’s not going to happen.”
    Cam looked like she was going to cry.
    “Sometimes I wonder why I’m even married to Eric. If he can’t support his family.”
    Krissa’s mouth fell open. “Uh…Cam? This is the twenty-first century. It’s not up to the men to support us anymore.” She tipped her head. “You know, when you think about it, that’s quite a burden to put onto a guy. Like, back in the fifties, when all moms stayed home with the kids. D’you think the husbands ever felt the pressure? They must have worried about that—losing their job, making the next mortgage payment when the kids were begging for new bikes.”
    Cam laughed. “Back in our grandparents’ day.”
    “Well, yeah. Seriously. Isn’t it better now that both parents are responsible? Now they share the burden?”
    “That’s not always the case. I know lots of moms who stay home with their kids. They don’t seem to mind putting that all onto their husband’s shoulders. I wouldn’t mind, if only Eric made enough for us to live on.”
    “I thought his business was doing well.”
    Cam’s mouth twisted glumly. “Not so good lately.”
    “Oh, no.” Krissa stared at her friend, distressed.
    Cam waved a hand. “It’s doing okay. But it means I certainly can’t quit my job.”
    “You couldn’t live off what he makes?”
    “Uh…no, we couldn’t. We’d have to sell this house and move to…Oxnard.”
    “A fate worse than death.” But Krissa smiled. “Would you really let a guy support you? Not have any money of your own?”
    “You’ve been a double income couple too long. When you’re married, the money belongs to both of you. It’s not his and yours.”
    Krissa shrugged. She didn’t want to argue, but she liked having some financial independence. She couldn’t imagine the thought of asking Derek for money for new shoes. But then again, she didn’t have children, and that probably changed everything.
    If she ever had a baby, would she feel differently? She’d always imagined herself as a mother, falling in love with her baby, but she’d also always imagined she would continue to work. Would she be like Cam? Would she fall so desperately in love with her children that she’d give up her career—to stay home with her children? In her case, there was no question of Derek’s ability to support them if she didn’t work. His real estate sales were into seven figures last year.
    She wouldn’t even tell that to Cam; that would not make her feel any better right now. Ironically, Krissa was the one who’d assumed she’d continue on with her career. Even though she barely had a career. And yet…she really had no idea how she would feel once she held her baby in her arms.
    She ached at the thought that she would never know.
    “Don’t have kids, Kris. It’s too hard.”
    Krissa looked away. In all this time, she’d never told Cam that she and Derek had been trying. Had never confessed her deepest longing. And now she couldn’t share the agony she felt about Derek’s sterility and his decision to not have kids.
    Sometimes she wanted to spill it all and share it with someone, and Cam was her best friend. Other times, she was glad Cam didn’t know, because it seemed so pathetic to want something so badly and have it constantly out of reach. But at this moment, Krissa felt