Free Lost & Found by Kelly Jamieson Page B

anger. Cam was so goddamn lucky and she didn’t even know it. It pissed her off so much. Rage bubbled inside her.
    “You love your kids,” she choked out.
    “Yeah. But life was so much easier without them.”
    Krissa paused to grab control of her emotions. “Oh, Cam. How can you say things like that? I hope you don’t say that in front of the twins.”
    Cam’s eyes widened. “Oh, shit. You’re totally right. I’m going to warp them. They’re going to turn into serial killers because they thought I didn’t want them.”
    “Why did you have another baby? If things were so hard.” She tried to soften her voice so it didn’t sound like an accusation.
    Cam grimaced. “Why do you think? We didn’t plan it.”
    Krissa’s heart squeezed. How many times had she heard this story? It was almost a cliché—it seemed like every pregnant woman she knew had gotten knocked up accidentally. Meanwhile, she’d been trying for years and couldn’t. And now she never would.
    The empty ache spread inside her. She’d come here to remove herself from the discomfort of staying home with Nate, only to find herself getting dragged down again into the despair of being childless.
    She stood up and went over to where Benjamin and Alexander played. They were being so good. Some child time was what she needed.
    “Hey, guys,” she said, dropping to the floor beside them.
    “Auntie Kwissie,” Ben said. He jumped onto her lap, almost knocking her over and she laughed and hugged him. “Pway wiff us.”
    And she did.
    On the drive home, she realized that being with Cam and her children had plunged her back into the pool of longing for a child. She gripped the steering wheel tightly.
    She would talk to Derek again. There were many things she didn’t bother arguing with him about. She liked a peaceful life—arguing made her tense and miserable. But this…she couldn’t let something this important drop. She’d find a way to convince him. There must be a way.
    She nibbled her bottom lip as she drove, thoughts careening around in her head.
    Her first choice would be a sperm donor. Then at least half the baby’s DNA would be hers. Surely to God Derek could love a child that was hers? Suppose she’d had a child before they met. He’d love that child, too, wouldn’t he?
    She flicked on her blinker and turned the wheel, pulling into the driveway of their home. She parked, put the car in gear, turned off the ignition, but still sat there, mind churning.
    Maybe they just had to find the right donor. She’d already told him they could pick someone who looked just like him. But…what if they had a family member who would do it? Would that be weird? It almost seemed…incestuous. But Derek had no brothers, and no male cousins either. And neither did she.
    A friend.
    Krissa went very still, lifted her eyes to the house. Her body tightened and she swallowed. What if…she closed her eyes.
    Impossible. It was impossible.
    But she had to try it. If Derek would even consider it…it was worth a shot.
    She tried to clamp down on the excitement lurching inside her as she hurried into the house.
    She called out a hello to Nate in his bedroom, then went straight to her office and shut the door. “I need to talk to you,” she said urgently into the phone.
    “I’ll be home for dinner,” Derek said. “Be home by six at the latest tonight. I promise.”
    Krissa shifted from one foot to the other. “Can’t you get home early tonight? This is important.”
    He sighed. “I can’t, hon. I’ll get there as quick as I can. What’s going on?”
    “I just need to ask you something. I have an idea…”
    “About what?”
    What the hell did he think it was about? She held the phone away from her ear and scowled at it. “What color to paint the kitchen,” she said bitterly. “Okay, fine, we’ll talk when you get here.”
    “Okay, babe, see you later.”
    She dropped the phone. Damn. Patience wasn’t one of her strengths. When she got an idea in