Free Tsea by Nia Arthurs

so long ago, it felt like another lifetime. I’d left my stripping gig behind ten years ago because it no longer held the same appeal. And yeah, a bit of it had to do with Stoker and his insanity, but most of it had come from me. I didn’t regret my time there but I also didn’t regret leaving when I did.
    April shook my arm, “Mommy?”
    I smiled at her. “In the Hebrew language… it stands for ‘soiled’.”
    She scrunched her nose. “What does that mean?”
    “Dirty.”
    “Dirty?” April giggled. “That makes no sense.”
    “Well, when your mommy was younger, she used to do things that a lot of people didn’t respect.”
    “What did you do?” April widened her eyes.
    I shook my head. My baby wasn’t ready for the details yet. Maybe when she was older. “It doesn’t matter.”
    “If it means that you’re dirty, why didn’t you take it off?”
    “Because this doesn’t define Mommy anymore.” I hugged her close. “You and your little brother do.”
    “And Daddy?”
    “Yes,” I smiled. “And Daddy.”
    “Did somebody call for me?” The front door slammed shut and Carlos stepped into the living room. He was dressed in his usual ‘lecturer’ outfit of khaki pants and a button-down shirt.
    “Hey,” I stood to my feet and kissed him on the lips. He held me around the waist and kissed me back with such enthusiasm, I nearly dropped to my feet.
    After Stoker I decided to leave the club. I wanted to focus on turning my interest in  real estate and investments into a business as profitable as stripping. Carlos had waited patiently for me to figure out my own life. I’d kicked him to the Friend Zone, an area that he couldn’t escape for many years.
    Finally, on my twenty-sixth birthday, Carlos told me to get over myself because he loved me and he wanted to marry me. After hurling a few choice words – and a little name calling – I said ‘yes’. We’d gotten married and had April the next year. Carlos Jr or ‘Juney’ had come two years ago.
    I was amazed by my love for Carlos and angry that I’d spent so much time following after Manuel. Carlos’s character and values were impenetrable. I knew I could trust him. He often reminded me that everything happens for a reason, but my annoyance at my choices could not be denied.
    Carlos released me to give April some love. I smiled at the picture they made. April was going to do great things. What Stoker had tried to take away in death, my daughter had brought back with love and hope.
    This was April Kelly’s legacy. This was my legacy.
    “Juney’s napping?” Carlos inquired as he kissed April’s temple.
    “Yup. He’s out like a light.” We walked back to the sofas and sat down. “What were my two favorite ladies talking about?”
    “Mom’s tattoo!” April shouted.
    Carlos’s eyebrows threatened to disappear into his hairline.
    “I told her what it means.”
    He coughed. “Did you now?”
    “It means ‘dirty’, but Mom’s not dirty anymore.” April said with authority. “She’s got us and she bathes.”
    “Really? I think I smell something…” Carlos sniffed the air.
    I swatted at his arms and rolled my eyes. “So mature, Professor.”
    “Well, I try.” He winked. “I’m going to go check on Juney.”
    I nodded as April clambered onto the sofa with the remote. Her favorite show came on around this time. Carlos emerged from the back room with Juney. Our two year old, normally a bucket load of energy, was still limp from his nap.
    “Hi, baby,” I cooed and held out my arms as Carlos transferred the little boy into my lap.
    “Yay! Diego !” Carlos sat beside me and stared at the television screen as a short, Hispanic boy delivered a lesson on panda bears.
    I shook my head and smiled as my thoughts led me back to April’s question. It had been a long road to find peace after being kidnapped by Stoker. A part of that peace came from cutting my ties with my wild lifestyle and creating a legacy that I wanted to pass