Free Love, Always by Yessi Smith Page A

sixteenth birthday, only I had actually turned fourteen. My parents don’t do drugs or sell themselves on the street, but they were as absent as yours were. But that’s not what I’m griping about. I miss my dead boyfriend. Every damn day, I miss him. It doesn’t get better. I miss his voice, his touch, the look on his face when he found something funny, the smile he reserved only for me. I miss my baby’s real daddy.” My voice begins to rise as my hands shake uncontrollably. “I miss the way he told me he loved me. And yeah, I miss my daughter! Do you know how long it took me to want to see my daughter?” I ask, crouching down so I can be at eye level with Samantha. “Do you have any idea how long it took me to want my daughter? You don’t!” I shout, and spit flies out of my mouth and onto her face.
    Samantha stands up quickly, her weight pushing me backwards. I collide with Dr. Rios, who has been standing behind me, but I ignore her hand on my shoulders as I push my way forward and punch Samantha square in the jaw. I recoil at the abrupt pain in my hand, grasping it tightly to my chest. I barely have time to register the full depth of the pain when Samantha crashes into me, sending my body onto the ground. I’ve never fought before and have no idea what I’m doing as I thrash below her large frame, landing lucky punches and kicks. I don’t know how long we roll around on the floor until I feel a sharp stab on my neck and everything goes black.

    I wake up in my room to find Hayley lying in bed next to me. I shift beside her, not really caring if I wake her as I stumble into the bathroom. I turn the light on and hiss. I didn’t realize it when I first woke up, but I have a full-fledged migraine. After I finish in the bathroom, I crawl back into bed and shove Hayley not so gently.
    “What are you doing here?” I ask her when she opens her eyes.
    “I thought I’d let Adam know you were okay when he Skyped you.” She rubs her eyes and yawns. “You know he’d worry if you didn’t answer.”
    “Did you speak to him?”
    “Yeah, I told him you went all Rocky on the butch bitch and he couldn’t believe it. He’s demanding your medical records to see if they’re slipping you steroids.”
    “You’re so stupid,” I laugh. “They looked good?”
    “Not nearly as pretty as you.” She points to my face and I grimace. I can feel the damage Samantha did to me.
    “Did you see her? Does she look nearly as bad as me?”
    “Nah, babe. She’s barely got a scratch on her.”
    “You’re shitting me, right?” I ask, and she shakes her head at me.
    “Adam’s mom came by too.”
    I look back at her curiously. I know she sees Adam often and she takes care of Josie when Adam comes to see me by himself, but I haven’t seen her since I made a spectacle of myself at my surprise baby shower. Shame fills me, knowing his mom knows my weaknesses as well as everyone else. How little she must think of me.
    “Can we get some sleep now?”
    “No.” I decide and Hayley leans on her elbow to look at me. “You know everything about me, but I still don’t know anything about you. Talk.”
    “Feelin’ brave after your first brawl?” she snorts.
    “Yeah, so talk, slut.”
    She sighs, probably deciding whether it’d just be easier to go back to her room and I’m almost sorry I said anything. It felt good to wake up to someone watching over me. Even if her watching over me comprises of her drooling on my pillow. Disgusting.
    “I had a twin sister,” she says to my surprise. “We were identical in everything but our personalities. Where I was outgoing, she was an introvert. I had friends, lots of them, and she was the loner with her nose stuck in a book. She was insecure and lonely, and I was so busy making people like me I didn’t see it.” Hayley stays quiet for a while and so do I. I’m not sure if she’s done with her story, but I don’t want to interrupt in case she’s not. “Hannah was the depressed