Free Take What You Want by Ann Lister

guitar, stopped while he
wrote something onto a piece of paper, then went back to the strings
to strum new chords.
    How
had his life gotten so complicated, Chase thought. He wrapped a
towel around his waist and walked into the bathroom; opting to use
the inside shower today, for no other reason than he didn't trust
himself to be outside and naked with Alex so close by. When he
finished in the bathroom he pulled on a pair of shorts, t-shirt, and
sandals, grabbed the keys to his truck, and used the side door facing
the driveway to leave the cottage – unseen by Alex.
    “ Fucking
coward,” he said to himself, as he drove out of the driveway
and onto the main road that ran along a long length of beach dunes.
Somehow he'd manged to live life staying in the safe zone away from
temptation – temptation like Alex.
    He drove up-island to a
private beach he knew about, hiked three miles through the woods on a
winding trail to get to it, then sat in the sand by himself for
hours. Thinking. Thinking until his head hurt. He saw no solution
to this. There was no way he'd risk losing Danni for a quick fling
with Alex – no matter how strong the attraction was or how hot
the chemistry felt, he would have to find a way to ignore it.
    It
was dark outside when he got home. Several lights were on in the
main house, including the lights around the pool area, but Chase
chose to use the side door again to enter the cottage. He knew he
couldn't hide like this forever from Alex, but for now, it's what he
needed.
    Monday
brought rain, a cold, wind-driven rain that blew in over the water
and dunes and sprayed the house with sand and salt, sounding like
hail when it hit the clapboard siding and windows. It howled all
day. The higher gusts rattled the windows and made the lights
flicker more than once. Chase stayed inside, caught up on paperwork
and made a bunch of business calls.
    Just before dinner, Danni
called.
    “ Do
it,” she said, bluntly getting to the point.
    It took Chase a moment to
realize what the hell she was talking about and then he sighed,
reigning in his frustration for the same conversation replaying over
and over between them. “Danni, no. I'm not doing it,”
he said. “I thought about this all day yesterday and I decided
I'm not willing to do something that could jeopardize what you and I
have together. It's not worth it.”
    “ If
you don't, you'll always wonder about it and I don't want to feel
like I was the one that held you back from experimenting,” she
said. “If Zander, I mean, Alex is interested, then I think you
should give it a try.”
    “ Stop
it,” Chase said. “It's not going to happen. Forget
about it.”
    “ We
survived being with Allison,” she said, “And who would
have thought that was possible: me watching you having sex with my
friend.”
    “ This
is completely different,” Chase said.
    “ How
so?”
    “ It
just is,” he said.
    Silence swirled around them
and Chase's head began to spin from the invisible motion of it.
“You're making me wish I hadn't admitted this to you,” he
said.
    “ We're
getting married, Chase. We shouldn't have secrets – no matter
how uncomfortable they might be to discuss. You let me experience my
fantasy with Allison, and I want you to have this.”
    “ You're
opening up something that maybe should be left under wraps, Danni.
We could be making a huge mistake – one we may not recover
from, and we'll never be able to pretend it didn't happen. Are you
willing to risk that?”
    “ Are
you willing to pretend you don't have this attraction for Alex –
or any other man, for the rest of your life?”
    “ If
it means the difference of having you in my life or losing you, it's
a no-brainer, Danni.”
    “ Go
for it, Chase,” she said, “Then, tell me all about it.
No. Wait. I'm not sure I want to know the details.”
    “ Baby,
there won't be any details to share because I'm not doing it,”
he said.
    “ I
bet you'll change your mind,” she said.
    “