Free Match Me by Liz Appel

Because it just shows what an idiot I’ve been.”
    I stared at him for a long moment before dumping the melted contents of my sundae cup down the front of his shorts.
    And I walked away.
     
     

TWENTY
     
     
    “You did what ?”
    I unpacked more Barack Obama dolls and put them on the shelf. My shift at Wonder World was almost over and I was working through the last few boxes the UPS man had delivered. “Dumped it in his lap.”
    Jill grinned. “Oh my God. Yes! Finally.”
    I sliced the box cutter through the tape and flattened the box.
    “And you told Paul?” she asked. “What did he say?”
    I nodded. “He stopped me in the parking lot. After the ice cream dump. I told him then.”
    “And what did he say?”
    “That he was in the market for a new best friend.”
    Jill grinned with satisfaction. “Good.”
    “I was such an idiot, Jill.” I stuffed the box behind the counter. “Why didn’t you tell me what an imbecile I was?”
    “Helloooo?” She fished around in her purse and pulled out a pack of gum. “Who has been telling you since forever that he wasn’t worth your time?”
    “I know, I know.” She offered me a piece but I shook my head. “But even you didn’t know he was capable of that.”
    “True,” she admitted. She unwrapped a piece of Juicy Fruit and popped it in her mouth. “That’s sort of huge. Like, a monumental asshole move. Didn’t know he was capable of that.”
    “And, honestly, isn’t the best-friend radar supposed to reveal that kind of stuff? That level of asshole-ish-ness?”
    “Inventing words, are we?” she asked, eyebrows raised.
    “Yes. Call me Shakespeare.”
    She leaned against the counter. It was raining and the store was empty. “Look, I’ve told you over and over again that you were in love with the idea of Chase. Not the boy, not the man. You convinced yourself he was what you wanted. He was the only thing you wanted. And look where it got you.”
    Her eyes narrowed and I braced myself for the lecture. I’d told her about the pregnancy scare only under the agreement that she wouldn’t scream and yell at me.
    But I’d forgotten about lectures.
    “Almost pregnant. Crashing weddings.” She shook her head. “Seriously, Bon. How could you have been so stupid? No protection? What the hell were you thinking?”
    But she knew. I’d never thought when it came to Chase. I just felt. And then did. But any way you sliced it, it was stupid and immature and irresponsible. I got that. Finally.
    “I know, I know,” I said. “It won’t happen again. Trust me.”
    “Damn right it won’t.” She glared at me. “We’re going on a little shopping trip this week. To the drug store. And we’re gonna buy some things that will keep you out of the aisle with the pregnancy tests.”
    I almost smiled. “Deal.”
    “But, you know,” she continued. “There’s more you should be sorry for.”
    “You’re going to make a great mom someday,” I said. “Your guilt trips are spot on.”
    “Shut up,” she said. “I’m talking about guys. Other guys. Sabotaging those opportunities with other guys.”
    I rolled my eyes. “Oh, please. I wouldn’t have gone out with Turtle Killer again or Roberto, regardless, of how I felt about Chase.”
    “Right,” she agreed, nodding. “But other men? You never even looked. It was like you had tunnel vision. You only saw Chase.”
    She had me there.
    “Well, that’s changed,” I announced. I grabbed the cleaner from the shelf under the register and sprayed the glass doll case. “I’m over him. Officially. Completely.”
    “Good.” She smiled at me. “You better be.”
    I did feel good. It was like the chains of infatuation had been lifted off of me. My feelings for Chase had dragged me down for years and made me do some really stupid things, things that had culminated in the worst week of my entire life. But, somehow I’d broken free.
    “So we can move on to phase two,” Jill said.
    “Phase two? What was phase