Free The Outsider by Ann H. Gabhart Page B

such shared love between her mother and father before her father had gone away and found death on the river, but it seemed to be the intended way for many of the world from Bible times on down. Adam and Eve. Abraham and Sarah. Isaac and Rebekah. Jacob and Rachel. Many of the converts who came into the village were married before they joined the Society of Believers.
    Even Mother Ann had been married before she had recognized the true spirit inside her and the purpose the Eternal Father had for her. At times a newly converted couple came into their midst equally devoted with full acceptance of the Believers’ way, but other times only the husband believed strongly, as with Sister Cassie and her husband. Then the wife was encouraged to bend her mind and will to the better way of the Believers.
    Gabrielle took note of the converts who left and those who stayed and wrote of them in her journal as she sought fuller understanding of this part of life she’d never know. Marriage could never be part of a Believer’s life.
    Sister Mercy had explained it to her many times. “As Believers we feel the need to devote all our attention to the spiritual life and fill our hearts with spiritual love. Worldly love destroys spiritual love because there is often strife among families. Here in the Society of Believers we can worship God fully without the distractions of individual family ties. We are one family with the blessings of Mother Ann.”
    Gabrielle accepted that as right for her life, but sometimes when she thought of the pain in Sister Cassie’s eyes or heard Becca’s lonely weeping at night, she wondered if the Believers’ life was right for all people.
    Then the doctor had held her hand and looked deeply into her eyes, and suddenly all the questions weren’t just to do with others. So Gabrielle stayed away from the doctor just as she avoided getting too near to the boilers that heated the water for the laundry. A wise person stepped back from danger. It advised as much many times in the book of Proverbs. Instead she sought her news of Nathan’s progress from Elder Caleb or Sister Mercy.
    Each time they told her of how Nathan was getting stronger and walking easier, she felt a growing relief. Not only for the healing of Nathan’s wounds, but because once Nathan was healed, there would be no reason for the doctor to return to their village. Then she would be able to put him from her mind and the worldly questions and doubts with him. Her life was planned, and if at times she lost the absolute surety that it was the perfect life the Believers intended it to be, all the same she had no doubt it would be her way of life forever.
    She wrapped herself in prayer, and any time an unworthy question or doubt slipped into her mind, she plucked it out and threw it down on the ground where she could stomp it into dust. Sister Mercy had taught her to do that when she first came into the village and missed some trivial part from her life before she became a Believer. Parts so unimportant that Gabrielle couldn’t even remember them now.
    This too was just a moment in her life. For this moment the sea of her emotions was rougher and the view ahead wasn’t as clear. But when this moment had passed, then she would once again see her future with the Believers as it was meant to be.
    On Sunday after Gabrielle dressed for the early meeting, she helped the little girls get their scarves and caps on straight. When the meeting bell sounded, they all sang as they walked to the meetinghouse. As they came close to the building, their voices joined with the other Believers coming to meeting from the other houses. The familiar sound of the gathering song always renewed Gabrielle’s spirit.
    Inside they sang a hymn and then sat on the benches while Elder Caleb brought forth some Society business and spoke of the fire.
    “The loss of the harvest barn is a hardship, but working through this trial will only make us stronger. We have already cleared away