comfort zones.”
An odd notion tickled the back of my brain, making me swipe at the tears rolling down my flushed cheeks. “Oh geez, Dad. You took on the global investments to prove you were worthy of carrying on what your father had left for you.”
He finally turned away and stared out the picture window that overlooked Big Ben and the House of Parliament.
Eventually, he said, “When she left, I understood it on a subconscious level. And it made me want to work harder for what I had. Unfortunately, I didn’t feel I deserved everything I’d been given, and that included you, Claire. I was ashamed I couldn’t keep my wife happy enough to make her want to stay.”
How ashamed had I felt when I’d cowered in Jack’s bathroom after his mother had called and I’d considered all the things I’d missed out on because of my fears and inadequacies?
How could I not understand what my father had gone through?
With a sigh, I dumped the photo of my mother in the trash bin next to my dad’s desk and said, “We’ve both been so foolish. Don’t you think it’s time we buried the past and moved on? Neither one of us has anything to be ashamed of anymore, Dad. We’ve both worked really hard and now I’m ready to get married and have babies and spend the rest of my life with someone who makes me feel like I’m a normal person. Someone who makes me feel whole again.”
He turned back to me and said, “I’m so happy for you, Claire-bear.”
“So you’ll come to the wedding? You’ll be my dad and give me away?” I asked, emotion and apprehension churning my stomach. “You’ll be a really great grandfather and visit more often?”
The expression that crossed his face was a somewhat tormented one. “You really want that? After all the years I wasn’t there for—”
“Dad,” I said as I rounded his desk and took his large hands in mine. “I’ve made mistakes too. A lot of them. But I’m learning from those mistakes. I’m taking some risks and I’m letting one seriously amazing man into my life. Don’t you think it’s time you came out of your shell too?”
He stared at me for a few tense moments. I could see this wasn’t a new concept for him, but certainly a difficult one. As difficult as it’d been for me. It was scary, I knew, but he couldn’t possibly have gotten as far in life and business as he had without taking a few chances.
So I wasn’t surprised when he finally cracked a smile and nodded his acquiescence. “You always were a smart kid,” he told me. “You’re right. I’ve got to make some changes.”
I gave him another hug and then said, “The wedding’s in a month. Plenty of time for you to rearrange your schedule.”
He chuckled and assured me, “I’ll be there, I promise. And this thing about having kids…”
“Yes?” I gazed up at him unwaveringly.
“I think you’ll make one hell of a mom, Claire-bear.”
I hugged him again as more tears streamed down my cheeks. I prayed he was right. But then, I didn’t really fear screwing up my children’s lives. I knew the pitfalls to avoid and, after all, I had Jack’s steady guidance to help me along. Not to mention his warm and caring parents, who had started a family when they were just barely out of high school. They’d made it twenty-nine years together and were still going strong. I suspected that gene had been passed to the man I was going to marry and that made me even more sure of the direction we were headed.
Plus I knew deep in my soul what I wanted. Jack and a beautiful brood we could lavish with all the love and affection we shared, and which I’d wished for growing up.
When he finally pulled away, my father said, “Why don’t you spend the afternoon at Harrod’s and then meet me at the Dorchester Hotel for dinner?”
“That’d be convenient,” I told him with a smile, “since that’s where I’m staying.”
“You do have good taste.”
“See? You passed some good traits on to me.”
He