Free SCARS by Amy Leigh McCorkle

keep my legs from shaking.
                  How long had it been since a man had touched me. Desired me enough to research what was needed in order to be with me without me having to have the talk with him. More than that he had come to me ready to well, make love. Looking into his eyes I knew it would be good too. Toe curling, mind blowing sex.
                  He seized me again and branded me with a soul sizzling kiss. Every hair on my body stood on end. The strength left my body and I clung to him. My whole body ached for his touch. I wanted to feel his skin, taste his lips again.
                  He held me tight and he smelled so good and it felt so right to be in his arms. I froze and right as it felt I knew to sleep with him now would be flat out wrong. Not because of any spiritual hang-ups I might have but because I wanted to be sure my viral load was still low. That he was responding well to the PReP treatment, and that I didn’t expose him to some dread disease that would leave him dead before his time.
                  I pulled back. “We can’t. I mean, eventually we can but not right now.”
                  “I just want to be with you darling. I had to be as close to you as I could get.”
                  A shiver went through my body.
                  I wanted to be close to him too.
                  “Take off your coat and follow me.”
                  I took his hand as he removed his coat and led him down the hallway to one of the nicer rooms in the house, the remodeled bathroom in varying shades of seafoam green glass tiles and a walk-in shower was probably the single most luxurious thing I’d ever splurged on. He shut the door and locked it behind us.
                  Silently we stood there without a word between us. There seemed to be an unspoken understanding that it was intimacy we craved and that were things we could do other than have sex. We began to peel one another’s clothes off and stepped inside the glassed enclosed shower.
                  I turned on the water and it hit us with its icy fingers then quickly yielded us to its warmth. James took me in his arms and we swayed to an inaudible tune. His face buried at my neck, me tasting his skin, each of us breathing the other’s scent in.
                  His hands touching my body. Along my arms. Down my spine. On my ass. And his kisses. Those breathtaking kisses.
                  I trembled in his arms.
                  I thought I might cry from the intensity of it all.
                  The sensation of a warm, sexual, sensual, hard body next to mine was enough to set my pleasure center on overload. It wasn’t enough to make me cry but it was enough to make me understand why Ellen had a hard time saying no to all those bad boys.
                  The strength in my legs threatened to fail when he took my breast in his mouth and used his other hand to deftly massage and stroke the other one. It wasn’t long before I felt delicious thrill of an orgasm building and when he slid his thigh between my legs for me to ride it wasn’t long before I was shaking and rocking and climaxing crying out his name.
                  As I floated back to reality in the strong, steady embraced of his arms I was strong enough to be vulnerable and weak for him.
                  I grasped his penis and began to stroke him until he was so hard he was grinding against me and when he came his whole body shuddered and convulsed until we were weak in one another’s arms.
                  I had never once dared to utter the L word to another person in the entire time since Kevin had betrayed me in the way that he. There in James’ arms in what felt like warm summer rain I felt love. Yes. That’s what it was. Love.
                  It was