Free Deceived by Stephanie Nelson Page B

my leg underneath me and swung my free leg under the table. “I’m against how it’s being executed. I don’t think we should kill those who are innocent. That is only going to get the entire vampire population to hate us. If we just went after the ones responsible, make examples out them so to speak, then that would show the vampires we’ll strike back should the problem ever arise again.” I leaned forward and rested my arms on the table as thoughts rushed through my mind. “Plus, what’s to stop the addiction? Are we going to be at war with vampires for the rest of eternity?” The more I thought about everything the more I didn’t understand any of it. Nothing Holly was doing made sense and would only cause more problems.
    “Perhaps you should tell Holly your thoughts.” Dorian leaned forward and rested his arms on the tabletop, his hands only a few inches from mine. I drew my arms back and crossed them on the table. “I didn’t realize the Angel of Death had a sense of humor.” Telling Holly my reservations about her battle strategy would be like talking to a brick wall, useless.
    “I have my moments.” Dorian wore sunglasses to hide his eyes, but I could almost see the dark clouds racing behind them. “Why don’t you change your eyes to match your appearance?” I hadn’t meant to say it aloud but my curiosity had formed itself on my lips before I could rein it in.
    “It’s not a misconception when people say the eyes are the windows to the soul. I can change everything about my appearance except that.” A smile tugged at his lips. “Why, do they creep you out?”
    “They did when I first saw them, but now I kinda find them fascinating.” I smiled. “Sorry that was rude, huh?”
    “Not at all, I enjoy your honesty.” I wondered if he knew how refreshing that statement was. Not too many people appreciated honesty, not really. People want you to say what they want to hear. My foot had found refuge in my mouth on more than one occasion. I liked knowing that Dorian didn’t see it as a flaw.
    A peaceful silence settled between us. We both drank our beers and enjoyed each other’s presence. It was something I hadn’t expected when we first entered the shoddy bar. When I finished the last of my drink, I made eye contact with Dorian. He was watching me, the thoughts evident on his face. I didn’t ask him what was on his mind; I really didn’t want to know. I just wanted to enjoy this time together and leave the drama buried. I didn’t want to dissect what that look meant.
    “Hey, what made you choose this bar?” I looked around and couldn’t imagine the place being Dorian’s regular hangout. Then again, I didn’t know him that well.
    “It’s part of the lesson.” He flicked his eyes to the roughnecks. “Do you feel it?” My lips tightened and I tried to sense whatever it was he was referring to but I came up with nothing. “What am I supposed to be sensing?”
    “Death.”
    “Death?” I frowned.
    “You have to recognize it if you want to connect with it,” Dorian said.
    I ran my fingers through my hair and took a deep breath. “I don’t want to connect with it. Honestly, I don’t want anything to do with it.”
    Dorian snorted. I knew he wouldn’t understand my unease about it; he was the Angel of Death after all. “I’ve told you, ignoring what you can do, won’t change who you are, Gwen. Holly wants you to learn this, therefore I am teaching you.” He paused. “Until you embrace who you fully are, you’ll never be whole. I’m sure over the years you’ve felt different than your friends without an understanding why. Once you learn how to harness and control your spirit walker self, you’ll be at peace with who you are. It’s an all-around win-win.”
    I quietly grumbled. I knew he was right, I should learn who I really was. A small part of me was afraid to though. Reading the memories of the dead was creepy enough, but at least I was helping peo ple when I did it.