Free Retribution: An Alpha Billionaire Romance (Secrets & Lies Book 3) by Lauren Landish

wandering around like an idiot, something I haven't done in years, but worst of all, Nathan's the person to find me. “Oh Nathan, I'm so sorry!”
    “Shh... 'Lissa, it's okay,” Nathan says quietly, pulling me in close. He notices that I'm not wearing any shoes and literally picks me up, his strong arms holding me tight to his body as he carries me inside and pulls the doors shut behind us with his shoe. Carrying me over to the big couch, he sets me down, never letting go of me. “You scared me, that's all. I got up to use the toilet, and I felt the draft. I looked outside, and there you were, wandering the front area in a big circle, pulling at your hair and making this whining sound. It scared me, but it’s okay now.”
    “It's not okay, it's never okay,” I sob, and Nathan holds me, comforting me, but I can't feel any comfort. “How am I ever... how can I?”
    “How can you what?” he asks softly, letting go of my shoulders and scooting back, not letting go of my hands. “Because from where I am sitting, you can do anything you want to do.”
    There's something in his eyes, I just go for it. “Even love?”
    “Even that,” Nathan says, smiling. “You can always love. You are one of the most loving people I know. You love Andrea, Carson, Katrina, Jackson and BA with a perfect, pure love that is beautiful to watch.”
    “But,” I say, then take a deep breath. “Nathan, what about you?”
    Nathan goes very still, and I see confusion in his eyes, so I try again. “Nathan, what about you? I... I think I’m in love with you, I guess is how I'm supposed to say it. I've never been in love before, so I don't know if I'm right or not, but...”
    “Melissa,” Nathan says quietly, his eyes glimmering in the soft firelight. “How could you love someone like me?”
    “Because of who you are,” I whisper, looking down. “I know I'm just a stupid idiot who doesn't really know what love is.”
    “You don’t know what love is?” Nathan asks, stupefied. “If anyone in the world knows what real love is, it’s you. I have seen it for the past four months every day. I see it in every smile, every time you pull yourself out of your nightmares and you still put on a brave face the next day. I see it in the way you opened up yourself to Andrea. But most of all, I see it in the way your hands paint, and the way you made that sculpture. And...”
    His voice drops off, and I raise my head to look at Nathan to see him looking down at our hands. “And what?”
    Nathan swallows, and looks into my eyes, his own gaze full of what I recognize now. He does love me, but he's also in pain. “And I don’t know how you could love someone like me. I'm a killer, 'Lissa. I have so much blood on my hands, and I’m a terrible, terrible man. I don't even deserve your friendship, and for sure not your trust, let alone your love.”
    “But I do love you, Nathan. I know I don't understand it totally, but I love you. Maybe you were a killer, but I don't care.”
    Nathan blinks, looking down, and nods. “And that’s why... that’s why I love you, too. But that’s why I can’t do anything about it. Because you might not care, but I have to. I have to remember that I have killed everything that has ever been good to me, that has loved me. I have to remember I am a terrible man. And I have to remember that I can never let my evil pollute the purest, most beautiful thing I have ever known. You.”
    Nathan lets go of my hands and stands up. “I’m sorry, 'Lissa. I am flattered... no, I’m honored. And maybe I’m the first person you have ever fallen in love with, I don't know. I do know I fell for you all the way back in October, but that I can’t hurt you. I’m sorry.”
    Nathan walks toward the line of bedrooms, pausing just before he leaves the light of the fire. “Would you like me to wake up Carson or Andrea?”
    “No... I'll be all right. I just... I wish that you could stay with me.”
    Nathan nods, and turns around. “Me